Shanahan’s transformation into Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer almost complete…

It appears the suspicions of NY Ranger fans everywhere have come true, as newly acquired Brendan Shanahan teeters on the brink of a stunning metamorphasis into Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. Sources say the hulking power-forward arrived at practice this morning ‘frightened and confused’ by the honking horns of modern day traffic and nearly jumped out of his BMW to ‘run off to the hills or whatever’. When asked about his condition, Shanahan became distracted by a nearby reporter’s tape recorder, asking if the voices coming out of it were “demons, or something”.

Ranger coach Tom Renney refused to comment on the situation but appeared peturbed at Shanahan’s inability to pick up the new Ranger offense in practice, as the forward repeatedly explained his ‘primitive mind can’t grasp these concepts.”