Sports Hernia Blog

Dick Vitale has lips surgically removed from Coach K’s ass just in time for season

VitaleasskissESPN execs breathed a heavy sigh of relief today after Dick Vitale had successful emergency surgery to remove his lips from Mike Krzyzewski’s ass, just before tip-off of the NCAA basketball season. 

Vitale will continue to plant his lips firmly on Krzyzewski’s ass cheeks as frequently as possible, but the surgery enables the self-aggrandizing jackass to speak again, thereby letting him continue to ruin as many college games as possible with his tired, retarded, Duke-panting act.


  1. Joe Franks

    November 13, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    Coach K looks like the devil

  2. Gerrard Sir Hornypants

    November 13, 2006 at 8:54 pm

    he has his horns removed before every season as well. the horse-tail he obviously just tucks in his pants

  3. Joe Franks

    November 14, 2006 at 10:15 am

    and Dick Vitale looks like he’s wearing a bald cap

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