Sports Hernia Blog

It’s time for the Hernia Hot Stove


Some topics floated around the GM meetings this week that were overlooked by sloppy, careless reporters:

  • Royals cutting more costs; will not have first baseman in 2007
  • Devil Rays rumored to be courting new Gatorade cooler if the price is right
  • Sympathetic veterinarian likely to put Mark Prior’s arm to sleep
  • Yanks still eyeing Jesus for team Chaplin
  • Red Sox baffled by Manny’s demand to be traded to the Red Sox
  • Scott Boras asking for rights to Omar Minaya’s soul in Zito talks
  • Marlins expected to hire great manager for one season
  • Sheffield to be named Eminem’s new chief of security
  • Phillies in heated talks to acquire Brewers batboy Rusty Fallwell
  • Pirates mulling playing naked
  • Devil Rays said to be converting bullpen to putting green
  • Mets close to signing someone who speaks English
  • Cubs said to be scouting pitchers with arms
  • Giants looking to fill selfish asshole void left by Bonds
  • Frank Thomas excited to fill selfish asshole void for Blue Jays
  • A’s strictly seeking free agents with beards
  • Reds in negotiations with Paste and Ryder from Nintendo’s "Bases Loaded"
  • Rangers owner Tom Hicks lusting to overpay for horrible free agent pitcher
  • Rockies testing balls lubed with Giambis hair-gel to limit effects of Coors Field
  • Zito’s list of demands include bad drummer and terrible keyboardist for impromptu jam sessions

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