Sports Hernia Blog

Wallace threatens to wear Skiles as headband if rule isn’t changed


Ferocious beast and part-time NBA center, Ben Wallace has taken a sudden and somewhat extreme stance against pint-sized coach Scott Skiles and his new ‘no headband’ rule. After eating a live cat in front of reporters Tuesday, Wallace nonchalantly announced he would wear Skiles as a ‘human headband’ during tonight’s game against the New York Knicks if the team rule was not changed.

While initally drawing a puzzled reaction, a few veteran New York reporters in town for tonight’s game confirmed that the ‘human headband’ is indeed possible. New York Post hack, Marc Berman rehashed an unforgettable moment at Nassau Coliseum in 1985 when he witnessed a confused Andre the Giant, reeling from a Piper’s Pit skit that went emotionally sour, drape an unlucky and soon-to-be-retired referee around his head, thus forming the first ‘human headband’.


  1. JoeB

    November 28, 2006 at 8:50 pm

    Skiles, Lawrence Frank, and Sweetchuck HAD to be seperated at birth.

  2. Gerrard Sir Hornypants

    November 29, 2006 at 9:53 am

    I believe that was a Saturday Night Main Event

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