Sports Hernia Blog

Sad day for NBA as players, fans neglect to pound the crap out of James Dolan during brawl


New York Knick players and fans missed a glorious opportunity to beat the crap out of their horrible assbag of an owner, James Dolan, yesterday during the wild fight between the Knicks and Nuggets.

"We blew it, man" reflected a somber David Lee, "we had our chance, it was total choas. No one would’ve seen it. He was right there in the first row. I just want to apologize to all the fans in New York." Ironically, it was the Knicks fans who expressed the most regret.

"I can’t believe it…We had him!", lamented a dejected Sal from Queens while standing on an overturned bucket of chicken from KFC during a bizarre impromtu press conference on the E train platform. "This is a dark day in Knick history. I just want to say I’m sorry to everyone in New York. I got so wrapped up in watching the brawl, I neglected to realize this was our chance to beat that fat sack of fat into next week. I just… I… (inaudible)..I can’t…" whimpered Sal, who was then escorted off the bucket of chicken by a homeless man who went by the name Lexus Balls.

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