Sports Hernia Blog

Sports Hernia Exclusive: Feds list of MLB steroid users unveiled…


The Sports Hernia mole has uncovered the FBI’s list of MLB steroid abusers and there are more than a few surprises:

  • Barry Bonds
  • Sammy Sosa
  • Miguel Tejada
  • The Clemens family
  • Jason Tyner
  • Every player with over 40 hr’s
  • Jeff Bagwell’s goat-tee
  • Jim Leyland
  • Anna Benson
  • Steve Bartman
  • Entire Oakland A’s organization
  • Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
  • Pedro Cerrano
  • Randy Johnson (Teradactyl-roids)
  • The baseball itself
  • The San Diego Chicken
  • Don Zimmer
  • Steve Balboni
  • Barry Zito’s bank account
  • Jose Lima’s wife
  • Don Mattingly’s mustache
  • Bob Costas
  • Minute Maid Park train
  • Brett Butler’s glove
  • Morgana the Kissing Bandit
  • The "Mad Dog" Chris Russo (amphetimines)
  • Felipe Alou
  • Von Hayes
  • Willie Mays Hayes
  • Babe Ruth’s monument in Monument Park
  • Jeanne Zelasko
  • Rich Garces aka "El Guapo"
  • The Sheboygan Bratwurst sold in section 313 at Milwaukee’s Miller Park
  • Gene Okerland
  • Jeff Gordon
  • Flash Gordon
  • Chewbacca


  1. Max

    December 28, 2006 at 4:31 pm

    I hear the kid from Powder is on the clear

  2. The Entire Nation

    December 29, 2006 at 6:11 am

    Is this list real? I feel like you are pulling my leg.

    Oh yeah, soccer sucks!

  3. Randy Johnson

    December 29, 2006 at 11:41 am

    Yes, asshole, it’s for real.

  4. Joe

    October 1, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Powder does look like he is on the clear. Anna Benson is suprising.

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