Sports Hernia Exclusive: Feds list of MLB steroid users unveiled…

The Sports Hernia mole has uncovered the FBI’s list of MLB steroid abusers and there are more than a few surprises:

• Barry Bonds
• Sammy Sosa
• Miguel Tejada
• The Clemens family
• Jason Tyner
• Every player with over 40 hr’s
• Jeff Bagwell’s goat-tee
• Jim Leyland
• Anna Benson
• Steve Bartman
• Entire Oakland A’s organization
• Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff
• Pedro Cerrano
• Randy Johnson (Teradactyl-roids)
• The baseball itself
• The San Diego Chicken
• Don Zimmer
• Steve Balboni
• Barry Zito’s bank account
• Jose Lima’s wife
• Don Mattingly’s mustache
• Bob Costas
• Minute Maid Park train
• Brett Butler’s glove
• Morgana the Kissing Bandit
• The "Mad Dog" Chris Russo (amphetimines)
• Felipe Alou
• Von Hayes
• Willie Mays Hayes
• Babe Ruth’s monument in Monument Park
• Jeanne Zelasko
• Rich Garces aka "El Guapo"
• The Sheboygan Bratwurst sold in section 313 at Milwaukee’s Miller Park
• Gene Okerland
• Jeff Gordon
• Flash Gordon
• Chewbacca

4 Comments

1. 

   Max

   December 28, 2006 at 4:31 pm

   I hear the kid from Powder is on the clear

   Reply
2. 

   The Entire Nation

   December 29, 2006 at 6:11 am

   Is this list real? I feel like you are pulling my leg.

   Oh yeah, soccer sucks!

   Reply
3. 

   Randy Johnson

   December 29, 2006 at 11:41 am

   Yes, asshole, it’s for real.

   Reply
4. 

   Joe

   October 1, 2008 at 2:36 pm

   Powder does look like he is on the clear. Anna Benson is suprising.

   Reply