2006: By the Numbers…

84 ? Number of bridge jumpers in San Francisco after watching Jerry Rice get served by Drew Lachey on national television.

29 ? Number of interns killed by Chris Berman?s gas.

17 ? Number of times Joe Thiesman lauded a quarterback profusely for how much he’s ?grown? only to have him throw a horrible interception on the next snap.

68 ? Number of days until Barry Zito blows his arm out.

16,000,000 ? Average number of SAP buttons utilized during any game with Joe Buck involved.

1,163 ? Combined number of asses kissed by Ahmad Rashad, Stuart Scott and Duke Vitale.

6 ? Number of NBA players that gave a shit this year.

3 ? Combined number of vowels in the names of the four current heavyweight belt holders.

473 ? Number of Bill Simmons columns dedicated to Doc Rivers.

0 ? Number of people that give a shit about Doc Rivers.

17 ? Number of eyebrow hairs left on Mike Miller.

$478,934,203.30 ? Amount of money spent on free agents by the Cubs and Red Sox.

113 ? Number of times Scott Boras smiled like the devil after crushing someone’s balls during negotiations.

7 ? Number of times Barbaro was kicked out of the Playboy Mansion.

4 ? Combined number of minutes Terrell Owens wasn?t on ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN News and ESPN ?The Douche?.

38 ? Number of flamingos mistaken for Randy Johnson.

8 ? Number of Bengals that signed with Death Row Records.

14 ? Barry Bonds new cap size.

49,890,786 ? Number of Italian-Americans who suddenly became soccer experts this summer.

One Comment

1. 

   Randy Johnson

   January 1, 2007 at 6:53 pm

   I’m surprised you didn’t rip me a new ass on this post too. Dicks.

   Reply