- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly argues over an eggplant, a peach and a smiley face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
Barbaro: 4/29/03 – 1/29/07
- Updated: January 29, 2007
Barbaro – A Timeline Retrospective
Spring 1988 – Barbaro’s father, BarbaroSonto, wreaks havoc at trendy Manhattan nightclub Limelight after being snubbed of an Oscar nod for lead performance in the highly praised Hot to Trot.
April 29, 2003 – Lex Luger and BarbaroSonto give birth to Barbaro.
Summer 2003 – Neil Young and Barbaro join Eddie Vedder on-stage to sing "Rockin’ in the Free World", surprising a raging MSG crowd on opening night.
Fall 2003 – Barbaro loses role of Seabiscuit during 2nd day of filming after he was caught banging Tobey McGuire’s girlfriend, inadvertently kickstarting racing career.
March 2004, Wrestlemania – Barbaro effortlessly sends Vince McMahon flying over the ropes with emotional "hoof-kick" after McMahon mocks horse racing to disapproving Southern crowd.
October 2005 – Barbaro replaces Dale Earnhardt Jr. at the Daytona 500 and finishes a respectable 4th despite a very heavy Budweiser car.
May 2006 – After experiencing turbulent winds, Donald Trump’s helicopter lands safely on Barbaro’s back as he wins the Kentucky Derby.
August 2006 – Barbaro weds Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes in a secluded wedding ceremony just outside of Prague.
September 2006 – Disillusioned with his new found celebrity status, Barbaro joins the Peace Corps, eventually spending time at a Buddhist temple in Tibet before returning to the U.S.
November 2006 – Barbaro has major setback on Dancing With the Stars
after awkwardly slipping on Emmit Smith’s boot tassel during a group
December 2006 – Paris Hilton reveals she’s late, giving us renewed hope that Barbaro will become a father.
Early January 2007 – Barbaro, seemingly healthy again, enjoys glorious beach jog with new BFF Matthew McConaughey.
Yesterday – Martin Scorsese tabs Barbaro to play Louis XIV for his upcoming Victorian era epic "Louis".
Minutes before being euthanized – Barbaro smokes 8lb. blunt with Snoop Dogg and Nate Newton.