Sports Hernia Blog

Eagles announce free bulletproof vest give-away for playoff clash with Giants

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In what might be the most controversial promotion since the Phillies ill fated "Free Beer and Crossbow night" (see 1975), the Philadelphia Eagles announced today that all 69,032 psychos in attendance for this Sunday’s game against the Giants will receive a free bulletproof vest as they stumble through the gates at Lincoln Financial Field.

Following the announcement in an effort to increase the comfort level of the action taking place on the field, all refs and coaches have made arrangements to get fitted for knight gear as the NFL holds its breath for one of the ugliest playoff "stadium battles" in recent memory. Additionally, Roger Goodell has advised players on both sides to fly their families to the West Coast and have them view the game from an undisclosed location.

While this might seem like uncharted territory, several teams have tried risky promotions in the past that have had mixed results depending on who you’re talking to:

  • New York Giants, 1997: free iceballs to the first 80,000 fans
  • Cleveland Browns, 1999: complimentary beer bottle slingshot
  • Detroit Pistons, 2005: free Braveheart outfit and spear night
  • Green Bay Packers, 1991: free lox and cheese brick night
  • Oakland Raiders, 2003: free axe and javelin night
  • New York Jets, 1985 : free catapult and bowling ball night
  • Oakland Raiders, 2001: free red bull and sword night
  • WWF’s SummerSlam, 1996: free megaphone and 2 x 4 night
  • Seattle Supersonics, 2004: free shirt rocket and live chipmunk night
  • University of Texas El Paso, 1998: free tequila and poisonous snake night
  • Philadelphia Phillies, 1989: free Pete Rose head-helmet and razor-tipped autograph pen

3 Comments

  1. Jay

    January 3, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    I’ve routinely been hit with bowling balls at Jet games.

  2. gerrard sir hornypants

    January 3, 2007 at 9:57 pm

    1993: Seattle Supersonics – Free bald eagle and squirrel night…

  3. Basketball, Other Items

    April 28, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    Paul Shirley: Can I Keep My Jersey?:

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