White Media to Dungy and Lovie: Please tell us what to call you

Hundreds of white broadcasters, writers and reporters are desperately trying to figure out how to describe the race of Superbowl coaches Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith without offending anyone.  The confusion boiled over today on ESPN?s ?The Sports Reporters? Superbowl special.

?I think it?s great to see two black?uhh?African-Americans.. um?finally get the chance to coach in the big game?? mumbled Mike Lupica, as William C. Rhoden, sitting next to him, turned his head and revealed a slightly confused look on his face.  ?I, um… I think it?s great,? whispered Lupica.

Things got more awkward when Mitch Albom chimed in. ?I just think it?s AMAZING, that in 2007, that two afro-black-icans… um…egh? black-fro-americans. I?uhh…Afri-Afro Cans?I mean, that two blackies?oh, Jesus, no.? 

Rhoden, visibly offended, began to address Albom, but the crafty 80’s gelfling immediately flew off the set using his gigantic ears as wings.

Jeremy Schapp, trying to play peacemaker, then stepped in and tried to explain, ?I think what Mitch was trying to say is people of color… who happened to be the darkest color… errr.. I mean unLatino people of color.. and not white, but not literally black, cause y?know, I?m not literally white, more like pink? I uhh..um…?

ESPN producers, sensing the disaster, then foolishly cut to a 2-hour loop of non-stop Stuart Scott ?boo-yahs?.

One Comment

1. 

   Joe Blow

   February 2, 2007 at 5:16 pm

   John Clayton is f’ing ridiculous. Nice guy and all, but he’s not human.

   Reply