Jerry West mistakenly calls Grizzlies his fantasy team during retirement announcement

A confused
Jerry West took the podium Tuesday to announce he’d be stepping down as President
of the Memphis Grizzlies, which apparently was his fantasy basketball
team. What followed was one of the more entertaining farewell press
conferences in recent memory, and the Hernia mole was there to catch
it.

"I had a lot of fun tinkering with the roster every year,
offering those crazy 10-team trades, bartering at times, posting funny
messages on the league board," he explained while attempting to
retrieve a text message. "Anyone know how you work these damn things?
For two weeks it’s been telling me I have 300 new text mesages.
Anyways, it was a good ride. Especially with guys like Isiah and Billy
King participating in the league, they’d always be up for those
ridiculous offers."

West continued on, reflecting on some of his most memorable moments.

"I
tell ya, that time I tried to offload Brevin Knight to Nellie for a
razor scooter and TiVo was a doozy…so was the night I got all jacked
up on Dr Pepper and Pixie Stix and called up Jerry Krause to trade
entire rosters – straight up.  Oh man, you should have heard his
voice. But hey, I am the NBA and I do whatever I want.  Seriously,
who’s on that logo?  Yeah, that’s right, it’s J-West, the Big Guy.  I’ll be back once I get bored of fishing and
offroading in the W VA."

*****

Top 10 Warnings Signs that Jerry West was losing his touch

10. Drafted certified midget Troy Bell and a Duke guard (always a
smart idea), Dahntay Jones in the 2003 Draft
9. Referred to Pau Gasol as "Vanilla Shaq"
8. Wore old Batman TV costume in luxury suite and on team plane
7. Absent-mindedly referred to Jason Williams as "White Pudding"
6. Only spoke to Pau Gasol in Chinese
5. Referred to glory days in Laker management as "when Cookie Johnson was running the point"
4. Took several trips to Coney Island to scout Jesus Shuttlesworth
3. Asked Pau Gasol if he could wear his beard for a week
2. Signed Peter Vecsey to 10-day contract twice, only to have league void it
1. Stubbornly only hired coaches who formerly had a perm

7 Comments

1. 

   Hubie Brown

   April 18, 2007 at 12:52 pm

   Now I want you to watch Jerry West. He’s about to hire a coach who previously had a perm but now sports the caeser. I want you to see the look on West’s face when he shakes Fratello’s hand. The eyes are focused on the hair, he maintains that focus throughout the shake, the whole time without blinking. Now that’s just solid gamesmanship.

   Reply
2. 

   Marv

   April 18, 2007 at 6:04 pm

   Is Fratello Burt Ward to West’s Batman?

   My head hurts…

   Reply
3. 

   Ricky - Sixers4guidos

   April 23, 2007 at 5:48 pm

   great article again

   I also started to think Jerry was losing some steps when he repeatedly tried to sign another Duke graduate, Billy King, as a player to add to Memphis’ depleted back court

   Reply
4. 

   KOBE

   April 29, 2008 at 1:58 pm

   WHAT A (EXPLOITED OF DELETED)

   Reply
5. 

   KOBE

   April 29, 2008 at 1:59 pm

   that foo aint nothing but a bitch

   Reply
6. 

   ASS WHIP

   April 29, 2008 at 2:02 pm

   FuCk A bItCh

   Reply
7. 

   ASS WHIP

   April 29, 2008 at 2:03 pm

   PeAcE oUt BiTcHeS

   Reply