- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
- Detroit Lions Take Sucking to An All New Level
- Sepp Blatter Resigns, Vince McMahon Rumored as Replacement
- Family Guy Called the Bruce Jenner “Situation” Quite Some Time Ago; Twice
- T.J. Miller Wins Hernia Immunity For 25 Years
Jerry West mistakenly calls Grizzlies his fantasy team during retirement announcement
- Updated: April 18, 2007
Jerry West took the podium Tuesday to announce he’d be stepping down as President
of the Memphis Grizzlies, which apparently was his fantasy basketball
team. What followed was one of the more entertaining farewell press
conferences in recent memory, and the Hernia mole was there to catch
"I had a lot of fun tinkering with the roster every year,
offering those crazy 10-team trades, bartering at times, posting funny
messages on the league board," he explained while attempting to
retrieve a text message. "Anyone know how you work these damn things?
For two weeks it’s been telling me I have 300 new text mesages.
Anyways, it was a good ride. Especially with guys like Isiah and Billy
King participating in the league, they’d always be up for those
West continued on, reflecting on some of his most memorable moments.
tell ya, that time I tried to offload Brevin Knight to Nellie for a
razor scooter and TiVo was a doozy…so was the night I got all jacked
up on Dr Pepper and Pixie Stix and called up Jerry Krause to trade
entire rosters – straight up. Oh man, you should have heard his
voice. But hey, I am the NBA and I do whatever I want. Seriously,
who’s on that logo? Yeah, that’s right, it’s J-West, the Big Guy. I’ll be back once I get bored of fishing and
offroading in the W VA."
Top 10 Warnings Signs that Jerry West was losing his touch
10. Drafted certified midget Troy Bell and a Duke guard (always a
smart idea), Dahntay Jones in the 2003 Draft
9. Referred to Pau Gasol as "Vanilla Shaq"
8. Wore old Batman TV costume in luxury suite and on team plane
7. Absent-mindedly referred to Jason Williams as "White Pudding"
6. Only spoke to Pau Gasol in Chinese
5. Referred to glory days in Laker management as "when Cookie Johnson was running the point"
4. Took several trips to Coney Island to scout Jesus Shuttlesworth
3. Asked Pau Gasol if he could wear his beard for a week
2. Signed Peter Vecsey to 10-day contract twice, only to have league void it
1. Stubbornly only hired coaches who formerly had a perm