Sports Hernia Blog

Kiper set to depart nest for annual draft feeding frenzy


ESPN’s NFL scouting condor Mel Kiper Jr., recently spotted above at an undisclosed bird sanctuary in Montana, has been yucking it up all week with the other birds about an apparent "big trip" to New York City.

When one bird finally questioned the validity of the trip, the spastic Kiper pecked the fresh-mouthed crow to near death, sending the rest of the birds fleeing to safety.

Kiper reportedly departs for Manhattan tonight and is expected to land atop the roof of Radio City Music Hall at precisely 5:03am Saturday morning.

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