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Rip Hamilton mistaken for sewer rat, swept away by maintenance crew
- Updated: April 12, 2007
the exciting fesitivities that took place after Detroit clinched the
top seed in the mighty Eastern Conference, Rip "Ruthie" Hamilton was
mistakenly swept off the court by the United Center’s diligent
"I didn’t know what happened," said team
hedgehog Chauncey Billups. "I went to smack his ass like I always do
and he wasn’t there. I was like, ‘where is that masked dickhead?’"
105lb. pogo stick was stuck in a dust pan on his way to the United
Center’s garbage facility, apparently dazed from the initial thrust of
the broom. It wasn’t until a sharp turn inside the cooridor that the
crew realized Hamilton was among the debris in the dust pan.
were almost at the home stretch, so I guess I got a little cocky and took
a hard turn," explained crew member Roy Kegnuski. "His head smacked
right into a steel door. I had no idea it was Rip, I thought it was a
sewer rat, or some kind of annyoing bug. I mean, look at him. And at the time, I had no clue how it
got out on the court, but when I saw it, I smacked that sucker with a
quick left-right and flung him right into my trap door dust pan. His
head must have popped out the side on that turn."
unavailable for comment as he was being treated for scrapes,
bruises, and menstraul pain by a Chicago area veterenarian while ultra-freaky
Tayshaun Prince nervously sat at his bedside.