Sports Hernia Blog

The legend of Amobi Okoye

If you haven’t already heard, Amobi Okoye is 19. That’s right, he’s 19. If you haven’t turned on ESPN or read a newspaper or gone online or opened your eyes, Amobi Okoye is 19 years old.

While Amobi awaits his fate in the upcoming NFL draft and others continue to "marvel" over the fact he’s just 19 years old, we did zero research to take a look at some of his interesting feats as he sped through childhood like an altered beast.

Amobi_okoye      AGE/ ACCOMPLISHMENT

  • 5 – taught his teacher how to read
  • 7 – beat Aquaman in a fish-talking contest
  • 8 – arm wrestled a grizzly bear
  • 9 – cooked flapjacks for his entire class on a bunson burner
  • 11 – grew a beard, which grew arms, that subsequently bench-pressed 3 live alligators
  • 11.5 – took Michelle Sway, the prettiest high school senior, to the prom.  That night he won Prom King and boned her and her twin cousin under the bleachers
  • 12 – started for his high school varsity football
  • 13 – leg-pressed a car
  • 13.5 – shotgunned a keg of Fosters
  • 14 – ran a marathon backwards
  • 14.25 – ate 9 Saltines in one minute
  • 15 – extinguished the Marlboro Man’s cigarette without confrontation
  • 16 – defeated The Hart Foundation at SummerSlam
  • 17 – shit on Mt. Everest


  1. Marv

    April 19, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    I heard he bodyslammed Andre a day before Hogan did

  2. Johnny

    April 19, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    I heard he forced Jon Amaechi to admit he’s gay

  3. Gerrard Sir Hornypants

    April 19, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    i heard he was the only person to ever pity Mr. T

  4. Johnny

    April 19, 2007 at 9:15 pm

    I heard he’s the only person to ever use a glacier as an ice cube

  5. Christian Okoye

    April 19, 2007 at 9:57 pm

    One time Amobi used me as a football during an impromptu pick-up game.

  6. Mt. Everest

    April 20, 2007 at 10:06 am

    Yeah, Amobi took a dinosaur size shit on me after he climbed me in two steps. F’ing bastard.

  7. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    April 24, 2007 at 6:39 am

    ahahahaha, hilarious as always… I wish I follow football more…

    Wasn’t he also the first guy to beat Radmanovic in a IQ measuring test?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *