Sports Hernia Blog

Ahmad Rashad with Barbaro: The lost interview

The always crafty Hernia mole was able to get their hands on a revealing interview Barbaro did with Ahmad Rashad during his final days. ABC has been adamant about burying the interview, and despite the audio tapes being tied up in a massive legal battle, the revealing transcript was leaked this morning.

Spine tingling stuff to say the least.


AR:  So I’m finally here with my maaaain man, Barbaro. What’s the best part about being Barbaro?
BARBARO:  Well, I’d be lying if I didn’t say plowing all those mares. I mean, you name it, I’ve done it. I’ve had some real wild nights in the barn, some real freakfests.

AR:  What’s the worst part?
BARBARO:  Probably that part about them possibly slaughtering me. That’s up there…

AR:  Many have called you a hero, do you consider yourself one?
BARBARO: That’s laughable. I mean, I didn’t go whine and cry and have a bitch parade like Joe Theismann, but I’m no hero. John Holmes, now there’s a hero.

AR:  What were you thinking rounding the final bend at the Derby?
BARBARO:  Well, obviously I’m thinking ‘I wish this little freaking midget would stop hitting me’ (laughing), but seriously… I was just thinkin’ stay ahead here ’cause the gas in the middle of the pack is BRUTAL.

AR:  What made you visit Joe Paterno in the hospital?
BARBARO: To be honest? Fresh air, I had to get out. What would you do if you had boxes of carrots piling up next to your bed, so much so that you needed five orderlies just to clear a pathway so you can get out of the fucking bed? And carrots? Please, don’t get me started on the fucking carrots.

AR:  We’ve heard you’ve been sent many drawings as well, mostly from children. I don’t see any hanging here in your office, why is that?
BARBARO:  Find me a kid that can fuckin’ draw and you might actually see something on this wall.

AR:  You are the most famous 4-year old since Elian Gonzalez, how does that make you feel?
BARBARO:  You tell that little punk, try getting 38 screws in his leg, then we will talk.  Cuba, please, it’s like paradise down there, miles of beaches, great weather, mojito’s, cigars and the women, my god the women.

AR:  What’s your favorite meal?
BARBARO:  Anything but hay and oat’s!! (laughing) Um, probably sushi..

AR:  Five dinner guests?
BARBARO:  That’s easy. Bobcat Goldwait, Jesus, Jenna Jameson, Mark McGrath, Pat O’Brien.

AR: Favorite actor?
BARBARORusty from Seinfeld.

AR: Gretzky, Jordan, Bird, Magic, Pele, Spitz, Nicholas. What do these names mean to you?
BARBARO: Nothing. They have fucking thumbs, so don’t compare them to me, find me a set of thumbs and you are looking at the next president of the United States.

AR: How would you feel about a gay horse?
BARBARO: I don’t know. I mean, I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but I’ve heard some things about Smarty Jones and Funny Cide, but who knows?  As long as they don’t bring their gayness all up on me in the barn, we’re cool.

AR:  So, I have to ask, what do you think about all this press you are getting? I mean, you’re like a national treasure.
BARBARO:  You call this press?  This ain’t nothin’ man, people are still talking about that fraud Secretariat. Wait until I am dead, then you will see some press.  (off the record: "I love this shit, gets me so jazzed up").

AR: And what about these "WWBD?" (What Would Barbaro Do) bracelets?
I’m flattered, really. I saw President Bush wearing one the other day. It’s an honor.

AR:  Last question, any predictions for next year’s (2007) Kentucky Derby?
BARBARO:  Ni**a please. Barbaro by three lengths and a horse wang.


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