- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly argues over an eggplant, a peach and a smiley face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
Mel Kiper Jr. ranks “Baby Hulk” #1 on his 2022 Mock Draft
- Updated: June 8, 2007
(BRISTOL, CONN) — Famed ESPN draft guru/condor, Mel Kiper Jr, released his 2022 mock draft today (somewhat ahead of schedule), revealing the obvious: that man-child, Liam "Baby Hulk" Hoekstra, was the #1 prospect.
A look at Kiper’s analysis:
Tremendous burst out of crawl stance. Extraordinary lateral quickness displayed in sandbox. Viscous head-slap move has already knocked several high-school babysitters unconscious. Ability to pile-drive father at such a young age is impressive. Possesses more than adequate bulk. Still growing, projects to be 7’5, 500 pounds when fully mature.
Plays with a high motor, but will need to eat a full turkey between plays, so there are concerns about staying on the field. Limited experience; has only played 1 full season in high school on junior varsity team thus far. Tremendously raw athlete, only scoring a 2 on the Wunderlic test. Ability to read offenses may be a concern but will likely be offset by sheer carnage he inflicts.
Bit of a tweener, but coaches will devise a system to get him on the field. Superior athlete; displaying a rare combination of size, speed, straight-line burst, agility, and decapitation prowess.
For more on Baby Hulk, click HERE…