Sports Hernia Blog

Oden, Durant to debut ESPN nostril cam at Draft


Oden seen here during the bumpy testing phase of the nose cam.

(NEW YORK, NY) — Although hard to find anywhere on ESPN
or its site, the Worldwide Leader signed an 8-year extension with the
NBA yesterday, perfectly timing the magnificent news with tonight’s NBA
Draft.  To celebrate, they also announced it would debut its latest gimmick tonight: "The Nostril Cam."

Special cameras fastened with an unecesarry microphone will be placed in the nostrils of Greg Oden and Kevin Durant to give the viewer
a first-hand perspective never seen before on draft night.

better way to view the draft than from a player’s nostril?" said
network ballbag Bernie Happendorf.  "The players don’t wear helmets, so
we had to think about this real hard.  We chose the nostril because for
the most part it’s always stationary.  So now the viewer will get the
constant, ridiculous bird’s eye view during the handsake… as well as the occasional booger."

Oden and Durant were initially hesistant to go along with the idea, but were quickly shown a
compliance document they had signed showing their allegience to ESPN
and Satan.

"We feel
this will beat out the under-the-basket, up-the-shorts camera view that
TNT has been using," Happendorf continued.  "The hope is to make this the most uncomfortable camera angle ever."

ESPN also reportedly toyed with the Stu Scott lazy eye cam to use between picks, but decided
against it in fear it would make the viewer dizzy in addition to the
already overwhelming feeling of nausea.


  1. Chris Kaman

    June 28, 2007 at 10:42 am

    How about a Kaman Ass Cam?

  2. Jordi

    June 28, 2007 at 11:33 am

    I didn’t think anyone was allowed to see the top of David Stern’s head. I always thought it was the other way around.

  3. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    July 1, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    what about a Jon Amaechi clit cam?

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