Sports Hernia Blog

Kruk’s hair stuck in a monsterous slump


Given the amazing action we’ve seen in John Kruk’s hair this season, from the Giambi/Melrose mullet to the infamous ‘perm jailbreak’, it’s obvious he’s stuck in a dreadful slump suffering from what many believe to be a "low flow" shower head.  This defeated, flattened-like-a-pancake look is never the desired style when one leaves the dressing room, it’s usually the one keeping you awake at night as you reminisce about class picture day in 3rd grade. 

We all witnessed this same look nearly neuter Kramer’s entire personality back in ’96 until he was able to finagle an industrial strength shower head on the black market (with Newman’s help of course).  Let’s just hope Kruk can get his hands on one too.

And we have to disagree with you here Krukie, your hair is the biggest surprise of the season and it deserves to be on the All-Star team.


Previous "low flow" sufferer:



  1. Peter Vecsey

    July 2, 2007 at 7:52 am

    My sources tell me that John Kruk’s stylist credits her penis comb for this latest masterpiece.

  2. gerrard sir hornypanyts

    July 2, 2007 at 8:09 am

    it looks like they were going for the Brawny paper towel Man but his head simply revolted

  3. steam flap Jr

    July 2, 2007 at 10:31 am

    I feel like an undertaker did his hair for him.

  4. Robert Iger

    July 3, 2007 at 8:50 am

    Stop the madness and bring back Harold Reynolds for the love of god. The hair, the hair brain comments, please. This is baseball not “Do you think you have talent”.

  5. My Pinstripes

    July 3, 2007 at 10:08 am

    LOL..that’s a riot..apparently Kruk’s knowledge of baseball has gone the way of his hair too.

  6. seth

    July 3, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    Kruk rules. He’s got some decent insight on the game from the perspective of the player, plus a great sense of humor. He holds his ground in arguments and doesn’t ask softball questions when given the opportunity to talk to controversial interview subjects. Screw Reynolds and his objectification-centric mind set. Why should he get to keep his job after getting caught playing grab-ass at work? Clinton gets impeached, but Reynolds gets his third slap on the wrist? I don’t think so.

  7. Ignacio de Loyola

    July 3, 2007 at 11:58 pm

    I think Kruk forgot to remove his batting helmet… since retiring…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *