Sports Hernia Blog

L.A. braces for arrival of David Beckham, wife’s tits…

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(LOS ANGELES, CA) — World-famous soccer star David Beckham and his racquet ball chested wife have finally touched down in America.  Here are a few steps L.A. is taking in preparation for the Beckham’s:

– Celeb gossip sites beefing up servers for expected deluge of nip and vag-slip pics of Posh taken by the paparazzi.

– LA pornstars saluting Becks by styling their pubes in patented Beckham ‘faux-hawk’.

– Instead of getting angular haircuts to honor Posh, women across L.A. will just chop off part of their faces.

– Galaxy team frantically learning how to play soccer.

– Tanning salons to add new Posh-inspired "Scorched on Mars" setting to tanning beds.

– ESPN to actually provide highlights of Galaxy games (in courtroom style sketches).

– Galaxy fan base organizing "Posh Boob Corner" where fans will strap 2 oranges to their chest in honor of her Poshness.

– Along with the SAP option on TV, Galaxy games will be broadcast in special Beckham Elf-Voice Setting.

– With rumors swirling of close pal Tom Cruise buying the Galaxy, expect the 4’7 Cruise to insert himself into the line-up as cornerback/freak.

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