Sports Hernia Blog

Attention starved Van Gundy returns to scene as Tugboat

Former Rockets coach and long time media whore Jeff Van Gundy came roaring back to the sports scene Friday night in the form of horrible early 90’s WWF (it’s never WWE) character, Tugboat.  While the length of his stay is unclear, the appearance alone has left NBA insiders puzzled.  Close friends of the sleepless coach say Van Gundy has been acting funny recently, going on a 2 month eating binge, only speaking in wrestling catch phrases and insisting on entrance music when he dines out.

"He came in the other night and asked that he re-do his walk-in because there weren’t quite enough heads turning," said Applebee’s host Todd Darlington.  "He said, ‘know your role and throw on some G ‘n R, this place could use a makeover anyway.’  Then he put his cigarette out on my forehead.  He was a total dick."

Van Gundy is off to a scorching start in the WWF with a remarkable official record of 32-0 following a massive belly splash in which he pinned an entire battle royal.


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