Sports Hernia Blog

Papi goes glove shopping after being voted starting 1st baseman


(BOSTON, MA) — David Ortiz was seen shopping for a baseball glove at the local
Sports Authority on Monday, after learning that MLB fans voted him in
as the starting First Basemen for the American League in this year’s
All-Star Game.

Sports Authority salesman
James Bildin said that although Papi was admittedly clueless, he seemed
excited about this whole "glove thing."

"I need one of
those gloves that my teammates wear," Ortiz told Bildin.  "And I mean
the big ones, not the ones I hit with.  The ones you do that other
thing with."


The knowledgable Bildin was
able to find a suitable first baseman’s glove for Papi, even though the
slugger had his eye on a "juicy" catcher’s mitt.


said first baseman’s glove is different, but he used Mirabelli’s glove
in left field last night, so I pay no attention," Ortiz said.


"But thanks to Mr. Bildin, tonight
will be first night I put glove under my matrress," Ortiz continued.
"I will sleep on it every night until All-Star game to break it in."

at the store, Papi also purchased a hockey mask and the Keith Hernandez
Guide to Being a Better First baseman instructional video.  No reports
yet if Papi will be sporting a ravishing mustache.