- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
- Detroit Lions Take Sucking to An All New Level
- Sepp Blatter Resigns, Vince McMahon Rumored as Replacement
- Family Guy Called the Bruce Jenner “Situation” Quite Some Time Ago; Twice
- T.J. Miller Wins Hernia Immunity For 25 Years
Idiot-Genius Grandpa makes collegiate football comeback to escape wife
- Updated: August 23, 2007
Mike Flynt effectively conveyed to his wife of 35 years that he loathes her and wants to die by rejoining the Sul Ross State college football team earlier this month.
"I’ve tried nearly everything to get away from the bitch," the 59-year-old grandfather and father of two said. "Right now I’m just really looking forward to the opportunity for a 300-pound pulling guard that’s more than half my age to come around the corner in a scrimmage and literally take my head off."
In response, Eileen Flynt, Mike’s wife of 35 years, said that she’s still taking the car out tonight to go to Mildred’s house for Bridge Night.