Sports Hernia Blog

Sports caricature t-shirt review (Part 3)


Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

The artist here was clearly a huge fan of Diff’rent Strokes and the Drummond family and had just seen the episode with Kareem as Arnold’s abusive substitute teacher because this isn’t exactly the kindest portrayal of the Lakers center.  In fact, he gave him the works.  This one makes the caricature sketching of Darryl Strawberry look it was supervised and approved by Al Sharpton himself.

This whole thing looks ridiculous.  Is he supposed to be some kind of man-goblin?  We’re assuming this was just an unfortunate mix-up and they accidentally put goggles on a giant blowfish and drew that instead, and then threw in tree limbs for kicks.

His head is so ginormous, there is no way it would fit into the cockpit of Airplane!, Captain Oveur would have never been able to take off, which in reality could have stopped a possible tragedy.

We’d love to hear the explanation on why he’s tossing up his signature hook shot into his own mouth.  Is he now a complete moron too?  Maybe it’s supposed to be bait since he is after all, a blowfish.

And they really got carried away with the body definition here.  For christ’s sake, look at his arms, those things would even be a disgrace on Manute Bol.

On the flip side, the left arm preparing the devious booger flick is a nice touch.


Tom Chambers

Is this supposed to be Tom Chambers or Ace or Gary from the Ambiguously Gay Duo?  This shirt gives you the feeling that when Chambers would return to his apartment everyday after practice he was met by fluffy bunny rabbits, songbirds, glo-worms, candycane banisters, an indoor waterslide and perhaps some oompah-loompahs.

He looks like the poster boy for the Aryan nation, reaching for the stars as he dunks over six people.  This was reportedly the hottest selling NBA t-shirt in German history, just edging out the popular ?Don?t Hassle the Hoff? shirts.  It?s even been rumored that Dirk Nowitzki wore it proudly for 6 years straight.

No surprise at the super short shorts here as Chambers used to revel in showing off his entirely waxed body as well as exposing his nuts when performing one of his flying dunks.  What’s more amazing is these
super short shorts were actually the same length as John Stockton’s, who was 19" shorter than Tommy Sunshine.

Conspicuously missing from this picture is Chambers? ballbag pummeling Mark Jackson’s face.

Attention to detail in this sketch was superb, as the single curled hair dangling in the middle of his forehead (click to enlarge) was an obvious homage to Superman, which is who Tom was to all of us.

Although production stopped years ago, there was an alternate version of this caricature shirt with the caption: "Somebody’s FABULOUS!!" in a rainbow colored font with an eruption of stars shooting out
from behind the letters.


Dominique Wilkins

Is it just us or does ?Nique look like he should be wearing a tuxedo?  It looks like he?s in mid-kick during some elaborate Bugs Bunny showtune, all that?s missing is a ridiculous top hat and a cane in the other hand.  Or maybe he’s supposed to be swinging in on a chandelier to unsuccessfully save the Hawks franchise.  That or he dropped a qualude and slipped on a banana peel because he’s about to roll his ankle in an awful way.

This sketch marks the first time in history Dominique opted to tickle the ball into the hoop in lieu of dunking it.  I mean come on, why is he dunking it like Monroe from Too Close for Comfort?  This was the most ferocious in-game dunker of all time and this is what he gets, a ?here we go whoopsies??

We also love the friendly "hiya buddy" wave as he lays the ball in, it’s eerily reminiscent to the time when he viciously threw one down on a humbled Tree Rollins and then stared through his soul as he jogged back up the court.  Well done.

Finally, Dominique rarely ever dunked one handed, making this drawing COMPLETELY unrealistic and the artist a total fraud.


Special thanks to reader Hawkins for sending the Chambers shirt in.

Sports caricature t-shirt review (Part 1)

Sports caricature t-shirt review (Part 2)

Part 4 coming soon…