Sports Hernia Blog

SportsCenter introduces ESPN The Spaceship

Trey Wingo (center) just moments after being beamed down to ESPN The Spaceship.

Last night marked yet another memorable moment for Bristol as SportsCenter did it’s first show from their long awaited new studio, ESPN The Spaceship.  Now officially broadcasting from space, viewers were treated to an ultra-hip fluorescent laser-light show that culminated with a dramatic entrance from anchor Trey Wingo, who was beamed down from above, miraculously landing safely on the fake, shiny blue-red-yellow-green-looking football field.

"As you can see, my face was almost half erased," Wingo said while laughing nervously under the beam.  "But atleast I’m broadcasting from space.  Hey, that rhymed!"

Once he removed his Tron helmet, parked his invisible scooter, detached the satellite dish from his ass and receieved reassurance from producers that the radar wasn’t jammed, Wingo went into his segment without missing a beat, at one point even connecting with space resident Ron Jaworksi (off camera) on a very short crossing pattern in the corner of the space end zone, just inside the fluorescent blue blinking pylon.

While the appearance left much to be desired for some, many viewers wondered why all the big names were missing for the big debut.  According to an insider, Stuart Scott was originally scheduled to host The Spaceship launch but his ass was so severely singed by the powerful beam during test runs that he was rushed back home in the form of an ejecting space pod, suffering a similar fate to that of Dark Helmet’s.