Sports Hernia Blog

Hernia’s Fall TV Preview

Whose_line_is_it_anyway_2
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Starring Steve Howe, Leon Lett, Darryl Strawberry, Doc Gooden and Michael Irvin, the premise of this one is pretty self-explanotory.  A blitzed Gooden and crew will sit around in a
different guy’s house each week violently chanting along with NFL Countdown’s "Jacked
up!" segment while repeatedly wondering, "who’s f**king line is it anyway?"

The_waltons_2
The Waltons

Each week Bill Walton and his 14 sons build a teapee, then light up in
the teapee, get really high in the teapee, accidentally burn down
the teapee, then smoke outside the remains of the teapee, before drawing
up blueprints for their new teapee.


Everybody Loves Romo

Featuring
Tony Romo and everyone that lives for him.  Common catch-phrases heard
throughout the show:
"Does it look like this guy is having fun?"
"Hey, does this guy love football or what?"
"You gotta love this guy, he’s just havin’ fun out there"
"This just in, Tony Romo is pretty good"

Steve_urkel_3
Family Matters

Nasally Tiki
Barber seemlessly takes on role of Steve Urkel in ABC’s sure hit of a
re-make.  The white-strips addicted douche will use Urkel’s common catch phrases which will also be featured on NBC’s Football Night studio show in a painful
cross-promotion: "Hey Costas, did I do that?"
"Mmmm Collinsworth, got
any cheese?"


M.A.S.H.
– Marv Albert Seeking Hair
Despite overwhelming popularity of the rodent living atop Marv’s head,
the show centers around the legendary broadcaster searching for hair
solutions across the world, mainly seeking out exotic animals with
interesting coats to replace the now famous species currently residing in that
space.

Tom_brady
Sex in the City
 
Set in Beantown, the show follows current athletes and their sexual adventures in ‘the City.’  Stars Tom Brady as Carrie (both have that annoying dimple on their chin), Curt Schilling as Samantha (a whore in his own way), Brian Scalabrine as Miranda, and Dustin Pedroia as Charlotte.

Lost
Featuring an ensemble cast headlined by Larry Johnson (the Grandma-ma LJ), the O’Bannon Brothers, Gregg Jeffries, Jerome Walton, Dino Radja and Timmy Smith.

Multiplicity_3
Multiplicity: The TV series

Starring Chad Johnson, Ocho Cinco, his dancing shadow, and several Wayans’ brothers.


The Office

Starring Jerry Jones as Michael Scott, Theo Epstein as Jim Halpert and Tom Crean as Dwight Shrute.

Benito_santiago_3
Ugly Benny

Starring Benito Santiago beginning his post-baseball career as an under-appreciated, ugly intern.

Dr. 90210
Jerry Jones gets cheekbones in his ass; Serena Williams finally gets that pesky penis removed.

5 Comments

  1. The Beek

    September 14, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    “Curt Schilling as Samantha (a whore in his own way)”

    – HA!!

  2. JJ

    September 14, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    HOW ABOUT ” SEX ,LIES ,ASSAULT AND VIDEO ” THE REAL N.F.L.

  3. Marv

    September 17, 2007 at 12:11 am

    I know another Walton is going to emerge any day now. White Cloud or one of the others… I just know it.

  4. Bob

    September 17, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    I think television is missing a bet. Barry
    Bonds in a remake of Kung-Fu. He could wander the West, looking for a team to pay him, his hair and anyone who believes he never took steroids.

  5. Okey

    September 17, 2007 at 5:50 pm

    “Rescue Me”, starring Lloyd Carr as, well, Lloyd Carr.

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