- Tom Brady Accidentally Wolfs Up During Court Room Sketch
- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly argues over an eggplant, a peach and a smiley face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
Missing U.S. women found ‘playing soccer’ in China
- Updated: September 19, 2007
The 21 American women who were reported missing by family members and friends were discovered in China, competing in something called the "Women’s World Cup."
Authorities remained skeptical Tuesday, following reports that the women beat another "team" from Nigeria, by a score of 1-0.
"We’re not exactly sure what to make of this just yet," CIA agent John Wilkins said. "We are currently in discussions with an organization known as FIFA, in an attempt to bring these ladies home."
Wilkins said that this could be a highly intelligent scam engineered by China, an emerging superpower that stinks of communism and nuclear potential.
"So far we have seen no coverage of these ‘games’ – only strange photos – which give me great pause," Wilkins said. "For all we know, our lovely, hot American women could be involved in an international prostitution ring that would put Heidi Fleiss to shame."
Wilkins noted that FIFA has fully cooperated with the CIA and has even provided the agency with a glimmer of hope. "We have learned of something called a Red Card,’ which we hope can send our women out of this sordid game and back onto American soil. God willing."