Sports Hernia Blog

Interesting new features in Madden ’08 that have gamers buzzing


Sports fans, gamers and athletes alike are buzzing over the recently
released Madden ’08.  The Sports Hernia takes a look at some of the
interesting new features in this version of the popular video game.

–  If you choose the Lions in franchise mode, smarter CPU automatically folds franchise, ejects game, and gives you the finger.

–  Ability to run over T.O., Ray Lewis and any Bengal with the Madden Cruiser during timeouts.

–  Ultra realistic action features all of Fred Taylor’s limbs flying off every 10 carries.

–  Ability to dress Belichick in any sweat-suit you like, including Juicy Couture.

–  Insecure QB Donovan McNabb is actually trailed by his own shadow throughout the game.

–  So realistic during Cardinal home games the crowd cheers the visiting team and wears their colors; ability to hear farts in stands as well.

–  Minutes after winning Super Bowl on All-Madden, new online feature automatically orders you a hooker, because lord knows you’re not getting laid on your own.

–  Blowouts against the Eagles unlocks special "No DQ Battle Royal" game inside stadium drunk tank.

–  New "Chris Chandler mode" features a devastating injury on every play until teams run out of players.

–  Segway Human Transporter option available for Brad Johnson and Byron Leftwich.  Casket available for Mark Brunell.

–  When the Lions and Texans are selected to play each other, the game immediately defaults to Duck Hunt.

–  Hold down ‘O’ and triangle button after a Randy Moss TD and actually crap in the end zone.

–  Ed Hochuli FINALLY listed among available free agents.

–  Texans All-Time team features characters from Rampage, Gauntlet and Joust.

– New All-Time Bust team highlighted by players like Tony Mandarich,
Andre Ware, David Klingler, Ryan Leaf, Rashaan Salaam, and Brian
Bozworth (who incidentally plays in his "Stone Cold" outfit).

Selecting the All-90’s Browns team immediately defaults to Spy Hunter where Browns fans, driving the Mutt Cutts ‘mobile, are in hot pursuit of Art Modell on I-80.

–  Hold down L1 and L2 with the Chiefs and Kyle Turley headslaps the
entire defensive line, his own lineman, and then savagely devours
Madden’s food spread.

–  "Deion Sander vs. Ronnie Lott" mode pits celebratory, flamboyant pricks against guys that play with missing teeth and fingers.

–  New battle mode allows even the coordinators to fight, with
Buddy Ryan and Kevin Gilbride constantly grappling in the background.

–  Score three consecutive touchdowns with Chad Johnson, and Ocho
Cinco repels down from the cheap seats to the endzone, where the two
perform a duet of "Me and My Shadow."

–  Go undefeated with the Chargers and unlock a secret world where you
sit on Marty Schottenheimer’s couch and watch him weep over old game

–  If you want to get Oakland crazy, a new cheat code during Raider
home games allows use of an Uzi with unlimited bullets in QB’s
non-interception throwing hand.


  1. John Fitzgerald

    September 4, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    “Minutes after winning Super Bowl on All-Madden, new online feature automatically orders you a hooker, because lord knows you’re not getting laid on your own.”


  2. JJ

    September 4, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    good stuff….keep it comming

  3. Von Kaiser

    September 4, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Awesome, the entire list is gold.

  4. Mookie

    September 4, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    When the ref penalizes you for excessive celebration, your player pulls out a gun and shoots the zebra dead. The replacement ref is hesitant throughout.

  5. JayBay

    September 4, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    Eli Manning actually does his “coach’s son shrug” after each INT he throws. Right after he does it, a speeding renegade bulldozer runs him over.

  6. Marv

    September 4, 2007 at 4:18 pm

    Just audibly snorted at last comment


    September 4, 2007 at 4:30 pm


  8. gerrard sir hornypants

    September 4, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    please let some renegade game developer see this list and make this poor old man’s dream come true…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *