- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly argues over an eggplant, a peach and a smiley face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
Interesting new features in Madden ’08 that have gamers buzzing
- Updated: September 4, 2007
Sports fans, gamers and athletes alike are buzzing over the recently
released Madden ’08. The Sports Hernia takes a look at some of the
interesting new features in this version of the popular video game.
– If you choose the Lions in franchise mode, smarter CPU automatically folds franchise, ejects game, and gives you the finger.
– Ability to run over T.O., Ray Lewis and any Bengal with the Madden Cruiser during timeouts.
– Ultra realistic action features all of Fred Taylor’s limbs flying off every 10 carries.
– Ability to dress Belichick in any sweat-suit you like, including Juicy Couture.
– Insecure QB Donovan McNabb is actually trailed by his own shadow throughout the game.
– So realistic during Cardinal home games the crowd cheers the visiting team and wears their colors; ability to hear farts in stands as well.
– Minutes after winning Super Bowl on All-Madden, new online feature automatically orders you a hooker, because lord knows you’re not getting laid on your own.
– Blowouts against the Eagles unlocks special "No DQ Battle Royal" game inside stadium drunk tank.
– New "Chris Chandler mode" features a devastating injury on every play until teams run out of players.
– Segway Human Transporter option available for Brad Johnson and Byron Leftwich. Casket available for Mark Brunell.
– When the Lions and Texans are selected to play each other, the game immediately defaults to Duck Hunt.
– Hold down ‘O’ and triangle button after a Randy Moss TD and actually crap in the end zone.
– Ed Hochuli FINALLY listed among available free agents.
– Texans All-Time team features characters from Rampage, Gauntlet and Joust.
– New All-Time Bust team highlighted by players like Tony Mandarich,
Andre Ware, David Klingler, Ryan Leaf, Rashaan Salaam, and Brian
Bozworth (who incidentally plays in his "Stone Cold" outfit).
– Hold down L1 and L2 with the Chiefs and Kyle Turley headslaps the
entire defensive line, his own lineman, and then savagely devours
Madden’s food spread.
– "Deion Sander vs. Ronnie Lott" mode pits celebratory, flamboyant pricks against guys that play with missing teeth and fingers.
– New battle mode allows even the coordinators to fight, with
Buddy Ryan and Kevin Gilbride constantly grappling in the background.
– Score three consecutive touchdowns with Chad Johnson, and Ocho
Cinco repels down from the cheap seats to the endzone, where the two
perform a duet of "Me and My Shadow."
– Go undefeated with the Chargers and unlock a secret world where you
sit on Marty Schottenheimer’s couch and watch him weep over old game
– If you want to get Oakland crazy, a new cheat code during Raider
home games allows use of an Uzi with unlimited bullets in QB’s
non-interception throwing hand.