Sports Hernia Blog

Treasures, bodies found in Raiders’ “Black Hole”

Destro Detroyer & Al Bananas refused comment on the story but didn’t mind

After years of witnessing stomping, kicking, punching, shooting, smuggling, crapping and partying in the Raiders infamous "Black Hole," team officials finally decided to hire a special team of Archaeologists to excavate the storied section of the stadium and find some answers for the decaying franchise.  The people found inside were equally as interesting as the items discovered.

People found in the Black Hole:

–  Napoleon Kaufman
–  Todd Marinovich
–  Andre Ware
–  Tupac
–  Tupac’s killer
–  Biggie’s butler
–  Greg Townsend
–  Ted Striker
–  The L.A. Rams
–  Four dead bodies that looked like Al Davis
–  Hundreds of Jack Tatum victims
–  Jimmy

Items found in the Black Hole:

–  A bloody glove
–  The USFL
–  A glowing review of Mike Shanahan
–  Jon Gruden’s extension
–  Several Snorks
–  Chester McGlockton’s moldy cheesesteak
–  An Orbi ™
–  James Hetfield’s last beer
–  The top half of Steve Wallace’s helmet
–  Eazy-E’s sunglasses
–  Jay Schroeder’s combover
–  An array of drinking helmets
–  Kevin Gogan’s King Kong Bundy outfit
–  Ronnie Lott’s finger
–  Barrett Robbins’ empty Cuervo bottles
–  John Madden’s used Depends
–  Rich Gannon’s Just For Men formula
–  Eric Dickerson’s trick eyeball goggles


  1. Brady Quinn

    September 12, 2007 at 1:39 am

    Did you find my hair there?

  2. Kyle Turley

    September 12, 2007 at 1:39 am

    Did you find my hair there?

  3. Tom Flores

    September 12, 2007 at 9:03 am

    Did you find my hairspray in there?

  4. Rich Gannon

    September 12, 2007 at 9:28 am

    Did you find my ribs in there?

  5. Bo Jackson

    September 12, 2007 at 11:29 am

    Huh, I was there last weekend, and I found my hip. I didn’t see Quinn or Turley’s hair, though…sorry guys


    September 12, 2007 at 12:31 pm


  7. JA

    September 12, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    What really makes that guy scary is the make-up and the stuffed TEDDY BEARS on his shoulders!!

  8. Barrett Robbins

    September 13, 2007 at 1:52 am

    Did you find Terry Kirby sexing my wife in there?

  9. edward

    September 10, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    The Raiders stick together. Most other NFL clubs fans do ok but this slump just makes fans keep morale tougher. You could learn a lot from the commitment of Raider Nation.

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