Sports Hernia Blog

Giants, Dolphins report from London…


The SportsHernia mole has been dispatched to London to keep tabs on the Giants and Dolphins arrival. Here’s the report of what he’s seen:

— Thousands of Londoners seen running from Tom Coughlin, thinking the plague has resurfaced
— Confused Plaxico Burress doing all interviews with translator
— Local rugby team calling every Giants and Dolphins player a ‘fookin nancy cunt’
— British press assuming Michael Strahan is a fellow Brit after seeing teeth
— Jeremy Shockey putting hair up in mohawk and fronting a Buzzcocks cover band
— Eli Manning playing crochet and sipping tea, thinking "I do believe that this is what it’s all about."
— Jason Taylor seen at pub talking to fat hags while the 4th-string keeper from Arsenal is enveloped in Grade-A poon
— Strahan seen galavanting around Trafalgar Square in assless leather chaps and biker hat
— Tiki Barber makes surprise appearance on Jools Holland and rips Tom Coughlin
— Upon seeing Miami’s uniforms, pretty boy Cristiano Ronaldo demands Man U change their color scheme to aqua blue and orange
— Both offensive lines resorting to eating fans to get some good meat


  1. Marv

    October 27, 2007 at 10:54 am

    Tiki playing the role of ‘Little Johnny Douchebag’ in the Royal London Theatre’s production of “Lord and Lady Douchebag”

  2. 4 More Beefs

    October 27, 2007 at 10:21 pm

    Tiki immediately throws in set of prop bum teeth so as to not scare the smoke-filled, yellow teethed, rail thin Brits


    October 29, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    Dolphins Crowder gives speach that no one understands, smokes a blunt, passes out…

    Have you seen this?…

    Dolphins LB Channing Crowder, who appears likely to start in
    the middle Sunday against the Giants (@Wembley Stadium) with
    Zach Thomas ailing, says he didn’t know until Tuesday that people in London speak English.
    “I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries,” he said. “I swear to God. I don’t know what
    nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”

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