Sports Hernia Blog

Giants, Dolphins report from London…

Creepy_jason_taylor_1

The SportsHernia mole has been dispatched to London to keep tabs on the Giants and Dolphins arrival. Here’s the report of what he’s seen:

— Thousands of Londoners seen running from Tom Coughlin, thinking the plague has resurfaced
— Confused Plaxico Burress doing all interviews with translator
— Local rugby team calling every Giants and Dolphins player a ‘fookin nancy cunt’
— British press assuming Michael Strahan is a fellow Brit after seeing teeth
— Jeremy Shockey putting hair up in mohawk and fronting a Buzzcocks cover band
— Eli Manning playing crochet and sipping tea, thinking "I do believe that this is what it’s all about."
— Jason Taylor seen at pub talking to fat hags while the 4th-string keeper from Arsenal is enveloped in Grade-A poon
— Strahan seen galavanting around Trafalgar Square in assless leather chaps and biker hat
— Tiki Barber makes surprise appearance on Jools Holland and rips Tom Coughlin
— Upon seeing Miami’s uniforms, pretty boy Cristiano Ronaldo demands Man U change their color scheme to aqua blue and orange
— Both offensive lines resorting to eating fans to get some good meat

3 Comments

  1. Marv

    October 27, 2007 at 10:54 am

    Tiki playing the role of ‘Little Johnny Douchebag’ in the Royal London Theatre’s production of “Lord and Lady Douchebag”

  2. 4 More Beefs

    October 27, 2007 at 10:21 pm

    Tiki immediately throws in set of prop bum teeth so as to not scare the smoke-filled, yellow teethed, rail thin Brits

  3. THE JUICE

    October 29, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    Dolphins Crowder gives speach that no one understands, smokes a blunt, passes out…

    Have you seen this?…

    Dolphins LB Channing Crowder, who appears likely to start in
    the middle Sunday against the Giants (@Wembley Stadium) with
    Zach Thomas ailing, says he didn’t know until Tuesday that people in London speak English.
    “I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries,” he said. “I swear to God. I don’t know what
    nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”

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