Sports Hernia Blog

Halloween Costume Ideas


If you have your mind set on being a sports figure this Halloween, but don’t want to be one of the 50,000 people doing the Michael-Vick-with-an-injured-dog costume, the SportsHernia offers these ideas with a list of what you will need to pull them off…

Stephen A. Smith
– Oversized suit with large shoulderpads
– Coffee cup stain around mouth
– Megaphone

Dikembe Mutumbo
– 2 feet of bratwurst
– Black electrical tape
– Oversized cookies

Mitch Albom
– Wooden staff for a 4ft person
– Hair feet shoes
– A cloak
– Gelfling ears

Marv Albert
– Bra
– Panties
– Suit
– Road kill wig

Craig Sager
– Purple suit
– 2 car batteries
– Enough Christmas lights for 50 foot tree
Inappropriate boner

Ken Rosenthal
– Mini squirrel suit
– Acorns

Joe Torre
– Rubber nose with parking space sized nostrils
– Nose picking wand
– Sleeping pills
– Lots of eye black

Kurt Rambis (or Lewis from "Revenge of the Nerds")
– Taped horn rim glasses
– Bad hair
– Gangly limbs

Jerry Colangelo/Bud Selig
– Beak
– Wings
– Angry Scowl

A.C. Green
– Soul-Glo
– Full body condom
– Laker jersey pulled over body condom

Dick Stockton

– Suit
– Smoke machine with tube to flow smoke into hair
– Tales from the Crypt cape

– Briefcase of money
– Purple lipstick
– Fake tail to put between legs
– Zero class
– Muscular transvestite to act as wife
– Frosted tips

Chris Berman
– Hideous jacket
– Hideous tie
– Fat suit
– Bald cap
– 6 strings of hair to fold over bald cap
– Spray can of grease to douse yourself with throughout night

Bill Parcells
– Fat suit
– Piss yellow hair dye
– Mike Francesa to sniff your butt wherever you go
– Groceries

Frederic Weis
– Tape
– Tea bag
– Ed Tapscott’s resume stapled to chest


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