Sports Hernia Blog

Hulk Hogan takes lead from Marion Jones, returns championship belts

HoganwwfheavyweighttitleJose_luis_rivera_2
Jose Luis Rivera’s day, albeit a bit late, has finally come.

Clearly inspired by Marion Jones admission to taking steroids, 14-time world Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan returned his title belts to the WWF offices in Connecticut today, suddenly making Jose Luis Rivera, the only known living wrestler to have never experimented with steroids and ironically the only wrestler never to record a victory, the new 14-time Heavyweight Champion of the World.

In what’s expected to be a massive fallout in the wrestling world following Hogan’s admission, Macho Man Savage, The Ultimate Warrior and 63 other WWF wrestlers are expected to admit the use of steroids in the late 80s and early 90s, which will only add to Jose Luis Rivera’s suddenly lavish collection of title belts.

As of this morning, Rivera was also awarded the Intercontinental belt, the Tag Team belts (along with the gritty Iron Mike Sharpe) and was named the winner of 19 different battle royals.

"It’s only right brother," said Hogan while his assistant spray-tanned him.  "I mean, I saw that guy Jones up there and he was so honest and heartfelt.  I got inspired.  Although I probably did win those belts fair and square since it was completely scripted that way, it still feels good to do."

Hogan will not face much of a penalty but has been ordered by a Tampa judge to wear Rasheed Wallace’s embarrassing plastic belt for two straight weeks.

20 Comments

  1. Sippenwoof

    October 10, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    Jose Luis Rivera simply DEFINES the term underdog.

  2. Eric Walker

    October 10, 2007 at 9:38 pm

    I do think its safe to say that Yokozuna did not take steroids during his WWE Title Run. However, you forget the great Superstar “The Unpredictable” Johnny Rodz who defeated Rivera that night in MSG when Hogan won the title.

    Does this mean Rodz is the Intercontinental Champion at least?

    http://www.wrestlingbeltworld.com

  3. The Sports Hernia

    October 10, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    Excellent point Eric, and so it will be.

    Confirmed: “The Unpredictable” Johnny Rodz is the new Intercontinental Champion of the world.

    Rivera has already been contacted for the belt.

  4. Jose Luis Rivera

    October 10, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    You’re gonna give it to Rodz? Really, Rodz?

    Great, why don’t you just give my new heavyweight belt to freakin’ Jim Powers or Barry O? What a jip.

  5. PerryL

    October 10, 2007 at 10:53 pm

    That page you linked Jose, is straight up absurd:

    “Barry O was one of the most outspoken critics during the sex scandal that hit the WWF in the early 90’s”

  6. KATRINEHOLM REVIEW

    October 11, 2007 at 3:15 am

    Wouldn’t it be interesting to really know who has cheated with steroids and not gotten caught in all sports? One wonders how many championships and medals would have to be returned and how many records would have to be changed.

    Also, exactly when did steroids and doping begin to enter the athletic world as performance enhancers? Anybody know?

  7. ShaneRollins

    October 11, 2007 at 11:35 am

    Are we serious? This Rivera guy couldn’t even hold the jock of the monster of the squared circle simply known as GILLBERG!!!

    Johnny Rodz, he would be a good champion if it not for the fact that he would crumble under the might of the Hebrew Hammer, Barry Horowitz.

    As for the tag team championship the might and power of The Blue Meanie and Mickey Whipwreck would be too much for anyone to handle.

  8. Jerome

    October 11, 2007 at 11:54 am

    I think that Leaping Lanny Poffo, the little know brother of the Macho Man Randy Savage, was by far the least likely to take steroids. If anyone should be awarded a title belt it should be him.

  9. The Sports Hernia

    October 11, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    GILLBERG!!! Holy crap, great call Shane! Him and Barry Horowitz can fight over one of the Cruiserweight belts.

    As far as Poffo, Lanny beefed up late in his career, and any brother of Macho Man was certainly taking SOMETHING.

    Plus, his name is Lanny.

  10. Jerome

    October 11, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    Come on, just because Lanny “beefed up” doesn’t mean he was on steroids. I think Somoa Joe proves that fat guys can be high flyers too.

    And what’s wrong with the name Lanny. It’s a good name, strong, plus wouldn’t you like your champion to write poems on frisbees and toss them all over the arena?

  11. Gerrard Sir Hornypants

    October 11, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    Adriene Adonis was on something… just not sure what

  12. Todd Hunter

    October 11, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    Twinkies.

  13. David Tse

    October 11, 2007 at 1:47 pm

    I think what the Hulk needed more than steroids was a little rogaine.

  14. Sippenwoof

    October 11, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    Speaking of Adrian Adonis, I’ll never forget when he sang “Hey, hey, Pau-La, I want to wrestle you To-Night…” to Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff.

    Orndorff was understandably irate.

    Amazing.

  15. Doc Bullfrog

    October 11, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    Leave it to the French-Canadians to give us the one and only wrestler that did NOT require steroids…that’s right Monsieur Rene Goulet!

    The grasp of his Scorpion Claw Hold was all heart, soul, and (steroid-less) muscle…actually, now that I think about it, as a finishing move that stupid Scorpion Claw thing kinda sucked!

  16. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    October 12, 2007 at 6:57 pm

    speaking of Adonis, is Foyle taking steroids too?
    that would be nice, I mean, taking steroids and still suck like that

  17. andy

    October 26, 2007 at 2:40 pm

    NBC’s classic competition show of the early 90s is back. “American Gladiators” which pits the strength and agility of both male and female contestants against each other, will be taping at the Sony Studios (Culver City, CA) from Nov 28th-Dec. 12, 2007. The host is Hulk Hogan.

    For groups of 10 or more (from a registered organization), who attend a taping, NBC will write a donation check. The more people, the higher the payment. For details, please call: 1-866-515-4950

    Online reservations for individuals can be found here:

    http://americangladiatorstickets.com/form.html

  18. andy

    October 26, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    NBC’s classic competition show of the early 90s is back. “American Gladiators” which pits the strength and agility of both male and female contestants against each other, will be taping at the Sony Studios (Culver City, CA) from Nov 28th-Dec. 12, 2007. The host is Hulk Hogan.

    For groups of 10 or more (from a registered organization), who attend a taping, NBC will write a donation check. The more people, the higher the payment. For details, please call: 1-866-515-4950

    Online reservations for individuals can be found here:

    http://americangladiatorstickets.com/form.html

  19. marv

    October 26, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    Thanks, Andy. See you at the tryouts. I’ll be the one leveling you, not once, but twice.

  20. Von Kaiser

    October 26, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    DEEEEEAD.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>