- Ode To Grantland
- Cris Collinsworth Has Actually ‘Seen Everything’
- Tom Brady Accidentally Wolfs Up During Court Room Sketch
- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly Argues Over An Eggplant, A Peach And A Smiley Face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
Scott Proctor’s arm flees L.A. upon hearing Torre rumors
- Updated: October 30, 2007
The tired right arm of Dodgers reliever Scott Proctor, who pitched 374 1/3 innings in half a season for the Yankees, fled it’s L.A. home yesterday upon hearing rumors of Joe Torre becoming the team’s next manager. Proctor was reportedly sitting at home, enjoying the day outside with his children when he heard the news of Torre’s strong candidacy come across the radio.
As soon as the news registered in his brain, Proctor’s terrified arm ripped itself from the rest of his body and scampered down the street, eventually hopping on the back of a young man’s scooter while giving the bird to Proctor, who remained stunned on his front lawn with his mouth agape.
The whereabouts of Proctor’s arm is currently unknown but there have
been reports of a disembodied arm with a tattoo on it looking for work
down at the docks, while other conflicting reports have Proctor’s arm trying it’s hand at keeper for the L.A. Galaxy.
Despite the missing arm, Proctor’s value as a middle reliever is not expected to change.