Sports Hernia Blog

Zeke, Knicks to pay $11.6 mil but bolster front line

Isiah_signs_anucha_brown_sanders

In a landmark settlement Anucha Browne Sanders received an astounding $11.6 million dollars in her sexual harassment case against the Garden but in return, at the request of Isiah Thomas, had to sign a 3-year deal with the Knicks to play power forward.

"I’m sad we lost this case, and I maintain my innocenceness," said Zeke as he addressed reporters outside the courtroom.  "But I’m glad I now have one of the most fearsome frontlines in basketball."

Here are some of the key points that led Isiah to this unique landmark agreement:

  • Pinned the Fabulous Moolah in 1983
  • Charles Oakley is afraid of her
  • Once chewed a WNBA ball and spit it out like a stale piece of gum
  • Beat Godzilla in an arm wrestling match atop the Chrysler building
  • Could play the Mahorn role in Knick’s version of the Bad Boys
  • Is rumored to be the brother of Michael Cage
  • Gave Jerome James a wedgie with one hand while reading legal documents with the other

5 Comments

  1. Kenny

    October 4, 2007 at 11:30 am

    That camera man is terrified. The guy in the middle is great too.

  2. BLABS

    October 4, 2007 at 11:41 am

    He’s holding the camera like 3 feet above his head.

    She rules.

  3. Marv

    October 4, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    Oh yeeeeah. How could you not want to sexually harrass that?! Isiah’s only human…

  4. Peter Vecsey

    October 4, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    My sources tell me her style of play can only be compared to hulking characters from the popular video game, Altered Beast.

  5. JJ

    October 4, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    GREAT, THE KNICKS MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE THIS YEAR, I COULD JUST SEE HER IN THE LOW POST WITH EDDY NOW…YEAH….!!!

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