Sports Hernia Blog

Tale of the Tape: Eli vs. Rex

Eli_rex_showdown_5
Yeeeah, better wear a poncho for this one, and not because of the rain.

Screw the Packers and Cowboys, everyone is just too embarrassed to admit that all they can think about this week is the Giants/Bears showdown, headlined by two quarterbacks absolutely jazzed to be in the spotlight, Peyton’s brother and Sweetchuck’s nephew.

Here’s all you need to know about Sunday’s barf ‘n gag QB match-up at Solder Field.

Accuracy
Edge: The 40-year-old playing catch with his son in the South Lot

Toughness
Edge:  Anyone sitting through this assman rodeo in the freezing temps

Mental Toughness
Edge:  Spalding Smails

Body Language
Edge:  Scott Norwood

Leadership
Edge:  Jeff George


Poise

Edge:  Squirrel in the middle of a 5-lane highway during rush hour

Footwork
Edge:  This monkey

Fan Support
Edge:  Hitler

Hair
Edge:  Lloyd Christmas

Fumbling skills
Edge:  Rexie, he has Eli beat by 1

Public Enemy
Edge:  Jeff Feagles for not punting to Hester

Sideline presence
Edge:  Even – J. Load’s mammoth stature ties with Orton’s witness-protection beard

10 Comments

  1. jprez

    November 29, 2007 at 11:38 am

    Wow, worst picture I’ve seen of Eli to date.

    Jeff Feagles will NOT be denied this Sunday.

  2. Jed

    November 29, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    Rex is going deep baby, atleast once to Sam Madison and once to Aaron Ross. Woo! I got money on this guy!

  3. JJ

    November 29, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    CLASH OF INEPTITUDE!!!CAN’T WAIT

  4. Jason R

    November 29, 2007 at 2:47 pm

    Eli is Rex? Rex is Eli? Finkle is Einhorn?

  5. leek

    November 29, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Clash of Incompetence

    Naturally, I can’t wait

  6. Gerrard Sir Hornypants

    November 29, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    HA! Einhorn is Finkle!?

  7. Von Kaiser

    November 29, 2007 at 2:55 pm

    Finkle my Horn?

  8. Skip Bayless

    November 29, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    I think this is a battle of the two best QB’s in the entire NFL….Save Vince Young and Jay Cutler of course.

  9. Russianator

    November 29, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    These two guys just need coaches who can bring out the best in them – they’d be much better if they had the chance to play for guys like Art Schell or Dom Capers

  10. Von Kaiser

    November 29, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    Coughlin’s face is going to be redder than a Killer Tomato on Sunday.

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