Sports Hernia Blog

So much to be thankful for…

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, just like last year, tireless members of the Hernia staff worked the room with various walks of life in the sports world to find out what it is they’re most thankful for. 

Surprisingly, many of them happily obliged…

  • Serena Williams ? Jockstraps
  • A-Rod ? Warren Buffet
  • Warren Buffet ? LeBron James
  • LeBron James ? Palmable globes
  • Scott Boras ? The Yankees, Kenny Rogers Roasters
  • San Francisco 49ers ? The Miami Dolphins
  • Miami Dolphins ? Notre Dame
  • Jason Giambi, Adonal Foyal, Roger Clemens ? Guaranteed contracts
  • Ric Bucher ? Willy Wonka pumpkin gum
  • Chris Berman ? Butterball turkeys dressed in lingerie
  • Jim Boeheim ? The 2-3 zone for trapping a hot, younger wife
  • Stephen A. Smith ? Droopy Dog
  • SportsCenter anchors ? Cat nip
  • Don Mattingly ? Joe Torre
  • Joe Torre ? No-Doze
  • Scot Pollard ? Waveable towels
  • Mark Philippoussis ? Dumb cougars
  • Dick Vermeil ? Suzyn Waldman
  • Tom Coughlin ? Keebler elves
  • Joakim Noah ? Sideshow Bob’s stylist
  • Rafer Alston ? And1 Mixtape Volume 1
  • Scott Skiles ? Rob Courdry
  • Frank DeFord, Suzyn Waldman, Darko Milicic ? Blood banks
  • Tom Brady ? Jonathan Antin
  • Tony Romo ? Brett Favre TD celebration videos
  • Nick Saban ? Coaching thousands of miles from intelligent media
  • Jimmy Rollins ? Matt Holliday’s stats when not playing on the Moon
  • Larry Merchant ? Ether
  • Omar Minaya ? Kenneth Cole shirts
  • Baseball Fans ? 4 months of silence from Jonathan Palpabon
  • Manny Ramirez ? ebay, head stockings
  • Derek Jeter ? Offstreet parking
  • Terrell Owens, Dennis Rodman ? Roy Firestone
  • Hank Steinbrenner ? Cigarettes
  • Cigarettes ?  Jim Leyland
  • Jerry Tarkanian ? Edible towels
  • Defensive backs ? Everyone but Tom & Peyton
  • Mustaches across the globe ? Keith Hernandez
  • Jeremy Shockey ? Whores
  • Ricky Williams ? Going green
  • Tiki Barber ? Nasal spray
  • John Madden ? Mutt Cutts cruiser
  • Barry Bonds ? Greg Anderson & Greg "Cadillac" Anderson
  • Jerry Rice ? Mid-life crisis shock therapy
  • Phil Mickelson ? Ric Flair’s boobs
  • Chris Hanson ? 3rd and long
  • Vince McMahon ? Armen Keteyian punching pag
  • Martina Hingis ? Fine Acapulco Gold
  • Peyton Manning ? The Bulova Watch Company, for introducing TV viewers to the first-ever commercial

One Comment

  1. Von Kaiser

    November 21, 2007 at 1:21 pm

    Phil Mickelson should absolutely thank his lucky stars for the presence of Ric Flair’s tits

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