Sports Hernia Blog

Ratliff’s decline symbolized in embarrassing card thrashing

Theo_ratliff_embarrassed
The cigarette butt at top right (cut off) tells you everything you need to know about this card.

This lonely Theo Ratliff card was recently discovered on the ground in front of a park bench in New York City.  The shocking part wasn’t the fact that it hadn’t been swept up yet, what blew our minds was the manner in which this card was meticulously dismantled.

The person who left this card here could have easily torn it in half and just thrown it away, but not in this unfortunate case.  After opening the pack of cards, the unlucky soul who was greeted by Theo Ratliff clearly took their time with this one, seeking to humiliate him in some sort of desperate attempt to even the score.

As you can see, a portion of the card was initially ripped off, but cooler heads wouldn’t prevail, as they instead went to task on the card.  It’s almost as if they peeled off the top layer of the card and sent
it through a paper shredder, only to return to the scene of disappointment and place Ratliff face-up in this compromised position for everyone to see.

Authorities say the card destroyer is likely to be a 15-28 year old male, possibly a jaded Sixer fan or delusional Blazer fan, most likely still living with his mom, but not considered dangerous.

Other theories point to the suspect as a novice NBA fan who stuck to Yahoo! rankings and drafted Ratliff way too high in his office fantasy league.

Two hipsters from Williamsburg are currently in negotiations to purchase the ruined card and put in on display at an upcoming art show that will feature a half-eaten pizza and an empty jacuzzi filled with cigarette butts and PBR beer cans.

3 Comments

  1. gerrard sir hornypants

    November 18, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    i haven’t seen a thrashing like this since this Wally Whitehurst “rated rookie” card i found in a Port Authority bathroom stall…

  2. Sid Bream

    November 18, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    I haven’t seen one this bad since I was sitting behind a Yankee fan who had a Kevin Maas rookie card wedged in between his 2nd and 3rd back-fat rolls.

  3. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    November 19, 2007 at 11:43 am

    can you guys confirm that the card was thrashed because it was always injured?

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