Sports Hernia Blog

11 things ‘Jets Nation’ can do from 1-4 on Sunday

Is_this_jets_nation_4
Yes, that red-faced man in the front holding the cigar is for real.

If Jets Nation actually exists, here’s a list of 11 things for them to do from 1-4pm this Sunday while watching the federal pound-me-in-the-ass beating courtesy of the Patriots.

We did a list of 11 because Rick Mirer (3) + Browning Nagle (8) = 11, obviously.  Not that you didn’t already assume that.

  1. Replace the cans on your prized drinking helmet with a keg, it’s going to be a long afternoon.
  2. Share some of that beer with your mustache, it has feelings too.
  3. Try to reverse the team’s fortune by wearing a jersey of a Jets player that doesn’t SUCK.
  4. Talk to yourself about the glory days of Ken O’Brien and Freeman McNeil.
  5. Pay for ESPN insider to read in-depth analysis from Todd McShay and Mel Kiper on how the Jets will butcher their #1 pick (2 spots after the Patriots select).
  6. Conduct a survey among local reporters and ask how far off
    Pennington was when he said they were "the luckiest people on earth."
  7. Re-enact the Nick Mangold/D’Bricksaw Ferguson summer crap-off at your girlfriend’s apartment.
  8. Find something else to do with your life other than scream "J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!" in the face of the pizza delivery guy.
  9. Try regular cotton candy instead of that disgusting chest hair cotton candy you insist on devouring.
  10. Embrace those New Englanders and start the 18th and highly relevant, "Yankees suck" chant.
  11. Fight the person next you, oh wait…

7 Comments

  1. Soy

    December 11, 2007 at 8:09 am

    12. Preorder that Jets Michael Vick jersey.

  2. Jason R

    December 11, 2007 at 10:26 am

    13. Wipe the mustard out of your third chin
    14. Do the same for your sweetie sitting next to you

  3. Tbone

    December 11, 2007 at 10:31 am

    15. Use heavy duty pliers to get that buffalo wing out of your ear.

  4. Jason R

    December 11, 2007 at 10:31 am

    15. Flashing truckers on NJ Turnpike

  5. jjgrady

    December 11, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    16. STUFF JOE BENIGNO IN A JETS UNIFORM AND HAVE HIM PLAY LEFT TACKLE [ ALL WFAN JET FANS WILL GET THIS]

  6. Jason R

    December 11, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    17. Get their kids a Pirates jersey

  7. Jason R

    December 11, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    18. Throw more change down the circular rampways to spit on the kids chasing after it and try to get some “trash flashin'”

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