Sports Hernia Blog

Barbaro revelation in Mitchell Report expected to crush nation

Barbaro_a_real_american_hero_1_2

As the world prepares for George Mitchell’s steroid report today, the latest big name to be leaked thus far is Kentucky Derby winner and dead horse, Barbaro.

According to those in the know, pages 973 to 1,504 in Mitchell’s novel detail Barbaro’s abusive use of the drug, and his thirsting need to go the extra mile.  Mitchell even connects the untimely snapping of his tiny ankle as a direct connection to steroid use, much like Mark McGwire’s knees.

At one time thought of as a hero to many, the black cloud that now surfaces above this horse’s once great name is expected to shatter the hearts of the thousands of idiots who sent the charismatic galloper carrots, oats, get well cards and erotic photographs to his horse-bedside contraption.

Sources say the he was a "main player" in the steroid ring, having several secret meetings with Victor Conte at Balco, even visiting him on all expense paid trips to his ranch in Monterey.  Former insiders of Conte have also alluded to a strong bond shared between Barry Bonds and Barbaro, where the two would take turns riding each other during intense training sessions conducted by Balco trainers.

Mitchell further explained a strangely discarded chapter in Jose Canseco’s "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big" book detailing the former MVP and the former winning horse gobbling down pills, injecting each others’ hindquarters and clubbing in Louisville until the wee hours of the night.

21 Comments

  1. jnr98

    December 13, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    Isiah Thomas is in the report, too

  2. Von Kaiser

    December 13, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    Who’s going to buy this Mitchell novel on hard cover?

    I think I’m going with paperback.

  3. johnnysez

    December 13, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    Books on tape?

  4. Miik

    December 13, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    let’s just hope Keith Hernandez isn’t on the list. Or Bill Walton.

  5. Bill Walton

    December 13, 2007 at 12:47 pm

    Barbaro will never dooooooo what Birrrrrd did….

  6. Funny Cide

    December 13, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    Fuck Barbaro, I knew something had to be up.

  7. Amaroq

    February 19, 2008 at 12:36 am

    Idiots.

  8. Amaroq

    February 19, 2008 at 12:38 am

    As in, all of you, blind-sided by the media and too self-absorbed to see the fire in that horses eyes, the way he dominated the track, the way he strided out, he was pure heart, and no drug can ever match his strength and pride.

  9. flip4fsa

    February 20, 2008 at 10:51 am

    WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT BARBARO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!HE WAS THE GREATEST HORSE THAT EVER LIVED AND YOUR SAYING HE DID STEROIDS. YOU LIARS.!!!

  10. Mira

    June 2, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    wtf? Barbaro didn’t deserve the bad shit he went through and you’re making a goddamn joke about it? And he didn’t break his ankle, asshole, he completely shattered his back right leg. Get your information straight. It’s dumbasses like you that piss me off. Horse racing is awful, I know that. But the horses don’t deserve to be hurt or ridiculed for it! FUCK YOU!

  11. Dani

    June 4, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    YOU HAVE PROBLEMS!!! HOW DARE YOU HURT BARBARO LIKE THAT!!!! HE WAS A HERO YOU ARE THE LOSERS AND THE IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOUR BOOK WILL CRASH AND BURN, I HOPE YOU DO TO!!!!

  12. Danielle

    June 28, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Thats so stupid! You can totally tell hes making it up justg to get some publicity. Barbaro was a great horse, you could tell he was great by looking at him. Not everyone in the horseracing business uses steroids on their horses and you should lie about a thing like that!

  13. Danielle

    June 28, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    shouldn’t* (sorry typo)

  14. TOWWL

    June 30, 2008 at 1:44 am

    barbaro set that house on fire too

  15. Paint-Mare

    August 21, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Barbaro was never given steroids. He was a freak of nature, a natrual born superstar who dominated the track. Had he not broken down, he would have continued to dominate the track. Instead, he dominated our hearts with his memory, and we wonder who he would be today.

  16. Horses are my life

    September 30, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT BARBARO????

    If he didn’t want to race he wouldn’t have. But he really wanted to and liked doing it. If you read the Reader’s Digest on him you would find the TRUTH!!! The IDIOT who wrote that they put him on steriods is a ASSHOLE!!!! I don’t like horse racing anymore either. I ride western. But there is horses in racing (basically all) that need to be appreciated for doing the awful sport.

  17. Maggie

    October 24, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    People are paid to lie, but don’t the horses have to take drug tests before races?

  18. jusye

    November 4, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    I do believe barbaro had steroids and horse racing isn’t abuse what about dressage it has ben proven it is abuse it causes spineal damage and airway blockage shure i love english but isn’t all bad

  19. SW

    November 9, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    no. no barbaro was not on steroids he was one of those horses who had a heart to race. he was born for the track and everyone just wants publicity. so shutup and get it right!

  20. grace

    February 15, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    I agree with you totaly, they don’t need to make fun of barbaro.

  21. smbs

    March 15, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Yes you are correct, thank you!

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