Sports Hernia Blog

The many faces of one Skip Bayless

Skip_bayless_gives_panel_silent_t_3
Skip Bayless starts off with his predictably catty ‘I will not look at you,
I will not speak to you’ silent treatment.

Skip_bayless_points_at_liar
Bayless quickly points out what a liar everyone is, and that his face is actually only 3/4 rubber.

Skip_bayless_kung_fu_or_arm_wrestle
Pretending he simply wants to do some 12 oz. curls, Bayless moves in for the kill with his signature ‘Kung Fu the crap out of you’ arm chop.

Skip_bayless_i_will_murder_you
Clearly not pleased with the amount of fear he’s instilled, Bayless
locks into his patented ‘I will murder the crap out of you’ doom face.

Skip_bayless_projectile_vomit
With the anger inside him blatantly consuming his belly, Bayless vomits up ten miniature’s Skip aliens who proceed to mess up all of his crappy notes.

Skip_bayless_threatens_to_crush_hea
Upset and embarrassed, Bayless crushes an invisible head of his own likeness.

Skip_bayless_kiss_and_make_up
After being calmed (read: sedated) by producers, Skip works up a creepy
‘kiss & make-up’ peace offering.

Skip_bayless_baby_talk
As the meds take control, the inevitable ‘Bayless baby talk’ runs rampant.

Skip_bayless_billy_idol_impression
After realizing there is simply no god, producers begin chewing on electrical cords while Bayless rocks a surprisingly dead-on Billy Idol
impression.

Skip_bayless_turning_into_the_hulk
Bayless suddenly begins to Hulk up after a renegade production assistant plunges him in the ass with a steroid syringe.

Skip_bayless_stunned_reaction_2
Hulked up Bayless deftly thwarts off sure death by catching a grenade in his mouth and quickly firing it out of his ass like a space rocket.

Skip_bayless_you_knew
Bayless, now back on his game and clearly focused, begins his spastic finger pointing routine before sprouting wings and abruptly flying off the set.

Howard_bryant_fears_bayless
After the remaining living producers successfully talk Bayless back to the set, Howard Bryant, now a shell of himself, confesses, "I fear Skip Bayless."

24 Comments

  1. gerrard sir hornypants

    December 19, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    i wish ESPN would just come out already and admit he is 2/3 teradactyl….

  2. Hugging Harold Reynolds

    December 19, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    Classic.

  3. Marv

    December 19, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    If you scroll down fast on your browser it totally looks like a vulture that is choking on something, then swallows it

  4. Von Kaiser

    December 19, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    HAHAHA! So right. As always, well played Marv.

  5. Jason R

    December 20, 2007 at 8:55 am

    And Howard Bryant looks over to Roger Cossack for legal permission to crush Bayless’ overly smug head like a grape, all the while Dana Jacobson ponders the mistake that are bangs on a woman.

    ESPN suits are pondering putting Stephen A. and Bayless on the set together to let them battle each other to a bloody, lifeless, clusterfcuk while viewers are encouraged to send money to the Jimmy V. fund if both don’t make it out alive.

  6. beefstalker

    December 20, 2007 at 11:08 am

    Ah yes, Stephen A. vs. Skip, their nonsensical verbal debates of idiocy are always great. A pay-per view wrestling match? Even better.

  7. JUICE

    December 20, 2007 at 11:13 am

    I AM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY RIPPED SKIP, THIS GUY SUCKS. I NEVER AGREE WITH ANYTHING THIS GUY SAYS, HE IS AN ANNOYING PRICK.

    I WISH THEY WOULD THROW HIM ON A PROS VS JOES WITH ALL THE ATHLETES HE TALKS SHIT ABOUT EVERY DAY…

  8. Jason R

    December 20, 2007 at 11:51 am

    PPV Stephen A. vs Skip, but they have to fight while wearing women’s field hockey equipment.

    and JUICE: know the CAPS LOCK button. Learn it, live it, love it.

  9. The Truth

    December 20, 2007 at 2:12 pm

    I think the bigger issue is why Dana Jacobson has an Adam’s Apple.

  10. JoeSportsFan

    December 20, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    Skip Bayless is a genius.

  11. Haterade

    December 20, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Biggest douchebag on TV.

  12. Bruce

    December 20, 2007 at 6:37 pm

    The only problem with a PPV is that one of them has to survive. That’s not an acceptable outcome in my book.

  13. Josh from cuse country

    December 22, 2007 at 2:12 am

    I hope for your sake that you didn’t actually have to watch this segment in order to come up with this breakdown. You still may want to see a neurosurgeon just in case.

  14. Beth

    December 22, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    No one knows how these stunning pictures were obtained. Some brave soldier dropped them off on the Hernia’s doorstep.

  15. Harriet Dixon

    December 24, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    SKIP BAYLESS?!! That sounds like something you would do on vacation. Does someone with a name like that actually work for a living?

  16. D-Rod

    March 4, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    Skip Bayless is at it again. Saying that Farve’s decision to retire is a knee jerk reaction to Randy Moss not signing with the Packers. What??? Farve has never had all-star cast of receivers to throw to – why in the world would he bail like a spoiled child since Moss did not select GB?

    Skip Bayless is a no talent idiot!

  17. Master Shake

    April 14, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    I hate everything that is Skip Bayless. he is pure retard, plain and simple. his death will become a national holiday, and i will create a huge parade float commemmorating his demise. oh how i hate him. there is a special level of hell reserved for skip bayless.

  18. Jay | Ticket or Tv

    April 28, 2008 at 12:21 am

    Skip Bayless is the devil’s brother’s stepson. No, really.

  19. Harriet Dixon

    August 7, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    It?s hard to believe that Skip Bayless was once a up and coming young sportswriter with a promising career when he was hired by the Dallas Morning Star at the age of 25, but while working for the prominent newspaper, he made outlandish, almost slanderous allegations about athletes, coaches, and owners, along with preposterous predictions about teams which almost never comes true. As a result he lost jobs at two prominent Dallas newspapers. Then there was his two-year fiasco at the Chicago Tribune, which is still a subject of controversy, but it?s widely rumored that Bayless resigned from the Tribune en lien of being fired. We shouldn?t be surprised, because of his lousy writing style and questionable ethics, he usually ended up getting fired.
    Now Skip Bayless is an old has-been sportswriter that no one wants to pay to write anymore, even espn.com Page 2 dumped him two years ago. I sometimes wonder if he ever realizes what a complete failure he has become, but considering how vain and smug Bayless truly is, I?m sure he never thought about it.

  20. Harriet Dixon

    August 7, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    It?s hard to believe that Skip Bayless was once a up and coming young sportswriter with a promising career when he was hired by the Dallas Morning Star at the age of 25, but while working for the prominent newspaper, he made outlandish, almost slanderous allegations about athletes, coaches, and owners, along with preposterous predictions about teams which almost never comes true. As a result he lost jobs at two prominent Dallas newspapers. Then there was his two-year fiasco at the Chicago Tribune, which is still a subject of controversy, but it?s widely rumored that Bayless resigned from the Tribune en lien of being fired. We shouldn?t be surprised, because of his lousy writing style and questionable ethics, he usually ended up getting fired.
    Now Skip Bayless is an old has-been sportswriter that no one wants to pay to write anymore, even espn.com Page 2 dumped him two years ago. I sometimes wonder if he ever realizes what a complete failure he has become, but considering how vain and smug Bayless truly is, I?m sure he never thought about it.

  21. Steve

    September 5, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    All you people who dont know stop trashing this guy. I LOVE watching first and ten in the afternoon when i get home from school. I enjoy coming home and listening to him battle with stephen a smith or whomever is there with him. I think he knows the sports world and on most topics I agree with him 100 percent. He is right about Terrelle owens and about lebron and for all of those people who says that Skip hates lebron you are wrong. He says all the time that lebron is the best driver to the hoop that he has ever seen and I agree with him. What is wrong for knocking a guy because of a horrible shot???? I enjoy watching Skip Bayless and I hope they keeep 1st and 10 on the air for a while because the show is great!!!

  22. Funnney Bunney

    February 21, 2009 at 6:52 am

    I LOVE SKIP BAYLESS IN THIS POSITION

    http://webrighteous.net/images/SkipBayless.jpg

  23. robertbones@rocketmail.com

    October 20, 2010 at 10:34 am

    I can’t believe what I just heard come out of S Bayless’ mouth. While commenting on the often repeated complaints about East coast bias in sports reporting, he actually said, “I’m sorry, they just play those games too late”. Would someone please remind this narcissistic crybaby that he gets PAID to watch these games and report on them. Please, please, please fire this incompetent zero.

  24. jocuri cu bile

    February 15, 2013 at 10:34 am

    What is wrong for knocking a guy because of a horrible shot???? I enjoy watching Skip Bayless and I hope they keeep 1st and 10 on the air for a while because the show is great!!!

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