Sports Hernia Blog

Hoops Weiss continues assault on reality

Hoops_weiss_glory_toupee_2

We recent conducted a Hernia round table discussion that focused primarily on the strange object that appears to be residing on top of New York Daily News writer Dick Weiss's head.  The main question that brought such animated feedback from all participating parties was, what the fuck is it?? 

Here are some of the ideas and thoughts that bounced around the room:

"For some reason, to me he looks like Yoda on Red Bull with a dead sewer rat on his head.  Especially when his eyes are all big."

"I'm pretty dumbfounded.  He reeks of a mix of arrogance and apathy – the crappy unbuttoned polo shirt, the old blazer and the ridiculous rug.  It's really like a greasy mop.  I can see an oily eddy in the middle of that wave of crud on his head.  It's like someone solidified the sea water where the Exxon Valdez spill occurred and plopped it on his head."

"It looks like a dried out steak."

"Is it seaweed?  Is that what I'm seeing?  Toxic seaweed?!  I expect it to drip off his dome by the time they start talking about UConn."

"Maybe it's a bunch of bacon strips stuck together that eventually grew fur."

"I think he stole that hair from the set of Rome."

"I wonder if it ever comes off with his hat, ya know, like Uncle Lewis."

"It looks like hair thats been dead for centuries."

(More pictures after the jump…)

Hoops_weiss_glory_profile_2

Hoops_weiss_drunk_on_toupee_bliss

Hoops_weiss_hair_panel

10 Comments

  1. Gerrard Sir Hornypants

    January 17, 2008 at 11:14 am

    laugh now, but he will be totally safe in a nuclear fallout…

  2. jnr98

    January 17, 2008 at 11:43 am

    how’d they airbrush out the chinstrap? a toupee with a Melrose-like mullet thingie? Where’s Marv Albert when you need him? Or Karl Ravich?

    And damn them for having the “what’s wrong with Syracuse” on the crawl…(bitter ‘cuse fan here)

    -Jason
    http://itsaboutthemoney.blogspot.com

  3. bo

    January 17, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Davy, Davy Crockett – king of the wild frontier.

  4. Russianator

    January 17, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    is the toupe a mullet as well? You think he sprays it with old spice to keep it fresh?

  5. Von Kaiser

    January 17, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    Seriously, he makes Uncle Lewis look like a graceful Greek God.

  6. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    January 17, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    you really think it’s a toupe?

    I disagree, to me it looks 100% natural hair. And pretty sexy.

  7. Phineas Undergrab

    January 17, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    Guy looks like george the animal steele after 6 months on nutrislim

  8. zen wizard

    February 13, 2008 at 4:58 pm

    Part of the problem is that the color of the graying sideburn and the back hair curiously fashioned into a makeshift mullet passed the “Just For Men: Platinum Brunette”-Exit a couple miles ago…

    Also, that “junior high protractor”/side-swoop part that is supposed to look “carefree” always gives them away, since nobody’s REAL HAIR parts that way.

  9. x

    November 10, 2009 at 2:03 am

    NOT….FOOLING…..ANYONE! MUST….RESIST…..BALDNESS!

  10. Marco Valachi

    July 28, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Wow, and I went to college with Dick at Temple, worked with him on the college paper there, and all remember is a good-looking kid…with real hair!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>