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New York hair scare
- Updated: January 24, 2008
Until yesterday, A-Rod had long been considered the self-encouraged, over-the-top glamour boy of baseball with his ridiculous Jersey Shore frosted tips atop his always freshly bronzed head.
But this week David Wright launched a full blow-out attack on his crosstown rival, rocking an arrogant fauxhawk that would make even Jonathan Antin blush. Doused with multiple hair products, Wright is basically telling ladies in the Tri-State area – and the world for that matter – that all bets are off and the days of the squeaky-clean, squeaky-voiced nice guy from Virginia may be gone forever.
This new battle of hair at the very least should help get both teams back into a rivalry that hasn’t been meaningful since the 2000 World Series. Players from both sides chimed in on the new look:
"Wright’s new fauxhawk is perfect since the Mets were faux division champs in ’07," said first baseman Jason Giambi while making sure his hair was sopping wet.
"I love the fauxhawk, it gives me another reason to dance, see?" yelled Jose Reyes as he began a feverish dance while players broke out maracas and cheered him on.
"Who are you, Karim Garcia," said a confused Pedro Martinez.
"Great, guess I’ll be breaking out my unfrozen caveman lawyer look again," said Johnny Damon while doing naked pull-ups.
"What the f**k is a fauxhawk anyway, can you hunt it?" asked Kyle Farnsworth, fresh from the weight room.
"We love A-Rod’s bat humping, but if David tries to one-up him with a glove hump, that would just be creepy," said Hideki Matsui through a translator during a "slow" part of his latest Tera Patrick feature.