Sports Hernia Blog

Weatherman deems current wave of Knicks “biggest shitstorm” in NYC history

New_york_knicks_shit_storm
If you think the weather sucks now New Yorkers, you ain't seen shit.

Last night during his weather forecast, Sam Champion-wannabe Lee Goldberg pronounced the current state of the Knicks as the "biggest shitstorm" to ever dump on the city of New York, worse than the Bobby Bonilla-Bret Saberhagen "firecracker" Mets.

"As you can plainly see here on the map, it doesn't look very good for New York hoop fans," the usually silky smooth Goldberg said with a gasp. "In fact, when you realize the size of this shitstorm, this just isn't gonna good for anybody. This one could easily last until June, which is an ungodly amount of time for buckets of shit to be falling from the sky."

There's no telling how long this shitstorm will last, but expert meteorologists are predicting as much as 3 1/2 feet of shit this week alone if the current Knick roster remains intact.

Back in 1999 several forecasters and local farmers were initially quite nervous that the Knicks would produce a giant shitstorm of similar proportions when they signed Latrell Sprewell after Chokegate. 

Those same farmers and forecasters were equally anxious in 1993 when Mets pitcher Anthony Young was working on his 27th straight loss while the tireless Vince Coleman was busy injuring their only good starting pitcher with a golf club, and throwing firecrackers into crowds of innocent people just for kicks.

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Lee Goldberg's highly disturbing profile can be found here.

8 Comments

  1. Dr. Hey

    January 4, 2008 at 10:37 am

    Hilarious, nothing beats a few good piles on steaming poo.

  2. jj

    January 4, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    GOLD!!!AND IF BULLSHIT WERE GOLD ISIAH WOULD OWN THE KNICKS, DOLAN AND MSG. WAIT A MINUITE, HE HAS ALL THAT??

  3. Von Kaiser

    January 4, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    The look on his face is sensational, and appropriate.

    But he’s NO Sam Champion.

  4. Harris Bloom

    January 4, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    This is one shitstorm that appears to just get worse and worse.

    Rock On,

    Aitch

  5. TD

    January 4, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Dolan announced he is not in charge of sanitation…

  6. Bob Costas

    January 4, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Yes, it certainly seems to be raining shit on “Coop” Cooper

  7. Barney Gubmel

    January 4, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Is it possible Dolan can be placed in a sanitation dunking booth since there will be excess sanitation readily available?

  8. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    January 6, 2008 at 11:22 am

    awesome

    and I thought storms happened only in the South, my bad

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