Sports Hernia Blog

Embarrassing Billy Crystal story sparks string of awful signings

Billy_crystal_trying_out_for_yank_2

Following the ridiculous and almost too-retarded-to-be-true story of Bill Crystal actually suiting up and playing for the Yanks today, it didn’t take long for other teams to hop on and mimic such a stupid, shameful trend. 

  • Enrique Iglesias inks 15-minute deal with Florida Marlins
  • Brandon Walsh to play entire second period for the Minnesota Wild
  • Jerry Seinfeld to pretend to be Mr. Met for a day
  • Jack Nicholson to wear a Lakers leotard, play center; Aging Dyan Cannon to join Laker Girls
  • Abe Froman, sausage king of Chicago, excited to play third for White Sox this year
  • This time, Homer will play for the Springfield Isotopes
  • Eagles sign garbage picking, field goal kicking phenom Tony Danza
  • Rapper/Actor ‘Lil Romeo to play hoops for USC (oh wait)
  • After remarkable recovery from NBA Entertainer’s League, Frankie Muniz to play for Clippers
  • Sam Cassell signs to rival team from the movie Space Jam
  • Irwin Fletcher to solidify Lakers backcourt
  • Amazing Grace and Chuck to make triumphant return to Celtics
  • Garth Brooks and San Diego Chicken fighting for roster spot on Padres again
  • Toby Keith to play Defensive End for America
  • Jimmy Fallon to again do something involving the Red Sox, causing sure riot in Boston    

14 Comments

  1. Stonehands

    March 11, 2008 at 11:48 am

    If he doesn’t get plunked or at the very least brushed back, I’ll be thoroughly disappointed.

  2. Marv

    March 11, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    When did Bill Veeck take over the Yankees?

  3. Zen Wizard

    March 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    You forgot–NASCAR just signed Britney Spears to drive the Pace Car.

    Most of these celebrities are just overcompensating for the relentless towel-snapping in the high school locker room, so the irony is kind of poetic.

  4. Upstate Underdog

    March 11, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    This makes me embarrassed to be a Yankee fan.

  5. Upstate Underdog

    March 11, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    Spike Lee suits up for the Knicks ? It couldn’t hurt.

  6. TBone, TSH

    March 11, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    @Upstate:

    Agreed, it’s f’ing horrifying.

  7. Zen Wizard

    March 11, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    L’il Romeo, they say, has increased attendance among the 11-to-17-year-old female demographic.

    How about a whole team consisting of the Jonas Brothers, Lil Romeo, and Sanjaya at center?

  8. How do you spell retard?

    March 11, 2008 at 9:46 pm

    L’il Romeo, they say, has increased attendance among the 11-to-17-year-old female demographic.

    Is it really a good thing to have 11-17 girls at a college game? I mean, for the girls, not for those looking for that 15-17 year old tang.

  9. Zen Wizard

    March 12, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    The 11-17 girls are valued because their high-pitched shrieks help the USC cheerleaders to know what baskets they should cheer for:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Brcl8U0jHto

  10. No 44

    March 13, 2008 at 8:58 am

    Lighten up. Baseball is supposed to be entertainment. There is an strong interest in following Billy’s fantasy by those of us who have played High School ball. He is filling our fantasy by proxy. It’s a lot more interesting to read about this, than Scott Boras and all the other business stories that appear on the sports pages

  11. No 44

    March 13, 2008 at 8:59 am

    Lighten up. Baseball is supposed to be entertainment. There is a strong interest in following Billy’s fantasy by those of us who have played High School ball. He is filling our fantasy by proxy. It’s a lot more interesting to read about this, than Scott Boras and all the other business stories that appear on the sports pages

  12. saucy

    March 13, 2008 at 10:19 am

    agreed, this is harmless.
    so who will sponser his baseball-reference.com page once it’s up?

  13. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    March 13, 2008 at 10:56 am

    Gollum signs with Clippers to make up for Cassell’s departure

    Bill Cosby signed to a special “Easter weekend” deal by Sixers

  14. Marv

    March 13, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    If Billy Crystal is “filling your fantasy by proxy,” that is pretty sad.

    I’m a huge fan of overwrought, sappy movies – can Billy Crystal fulfill my fantasy and put me in one of his?
    Then someone can fill his fantasy by proxy through me.

    Oh, where does it end??!!!!

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