Sports Hernia Blog

CBS not taking any chances with Gus for Davidson game

Gus_johnson_in_shackles
Fearing a spastic explosion from announcer Gus Johnson, CBS executives have gone ahead and made arrangements for the frisky broadcaster to be physically restrained during Friday night’s highly anticipated Davidson-Wisconsin game.

Yeti-strength tranquilizers are also said to be on the menu in the event that Davidson guard Stephen Curry goes off for 35 or if we’re treated to a buzzer beater, two things CBS knows certain will hulk up Johnson enough to break the shackles and run around center court like the Tasmanian Devil.

The network had initially thought to remove Johnson from the game entirely, but cooler heads prevailed and were able to compromise on simply keeping him in shackles, so as not to disappoint the viewers that enjoy Johnson’s energetic style.

Len Elmore, who teams with Johnson, sounded relieved after hearing of the unorthodox move.

"I love Gus, I really do," said the understated Elmore, "but as soon as I heard we were assigned to the Davidson game, my mind started racing.  I thought to myself, this could be the game where Gus truly loses his mind.  What do I do to combat him if the excitement finally overtakes his soul?  Thankfully, the heady folks at CBS stepped in."

Johnson’s most famous explosion occurred in the 2006 NCAA Tournament when UCLA made an improbable comeback against Gonzaga in the final seconds, causing Johnson’s head to rotate 720? before detaching itself from his body, hopping the announcers table and landing on coach Ben Howland’s left shoulder for an exclusive postgame interview.

12 Comments

  1. jj

    March 25, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    DREAM TEAM..JOHNSON AND DICK VITALE DOING A GAME TOGETHER…ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!

  2. Stonehands

    March 25, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    That picture should be included in all CBS promos this week. Awesome.

  3. Jay

    March 26, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Gold.

  4. BO

    March 26, 2008 at 11:47 am

    He calls the game like a fan would. That’s why everybody loves GJ.

  5. Spawn

    March 26, 2008 at 11:57 am

    No, he calls like a person that isn’t dead would call it. That’s why everybody loves GuJo.

  6. Von Kaiser

    March 26, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    If Gus Johnson called one of my neighborhood slam dunk contests as a kid, I’m pretty sure you’d be able to buy the DVD at Best Buy.

  7. Marco Rincon

    March 26, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    Gus Johnson is great because he seems genuine and I hope he remains that way…Dick Vitale is such a blowhard and almost now a cartoon figure. He must figure that he has to act so excited every damn moment that it has worn way too thin. Almost every viewer that I know feels the same way about Vitale. The day he is let go (I suppose it might never happen) will be a great day for NCAA basketball journalists/media professionalism. How nice it was earlier this season when he was off of the air tending to his medical issue. Do you suppose he might still be shilling for college hoops when he’s in his 80s?

  8. Stacey Monponsett

    March 26, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Gus is vanilla ice cream served in a wooden bowl when compared to Johnny Most.

  9. Von Kaiser

    March 26, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    Johnny Bravo too.

  10. Ken walker

    March 26, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    When you a baller, and know the game excitement follows.

  11. Brent Musberger

    March 26, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    I’m senile but I approve of this.

  12. J5

    March 26, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Happiness is….Gus Johnson calling a big upset in the tournament. He is like the soundtrack to the tournament for me. Whenever I think of the tourney and how much i love it, it’s always Gus going apeshit that I hear in my head. Love that guy.

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