Sports Hernia Blog

Kaman eyes spot on German team after Sauron cuts him from Mordor team

Chris_kaman_is_an_orc_3

MT. DOOM, MORDOR — LA Clippers center Chris Kaman has put in a request to play for the German national basketball team in the 2008 Olympics after getting cut from the Mordor team by GM and conjurer of evil, Sauron.

Kaman, who is 100% orc and grew up playing pickup games on the rough and tumble blackened foothills of Mordor, claims he can play for Germany since his cousin is "living in Duessleforf, or some shit."

Sources say Kaman became expendable to team Mordor after legendary orc and former Supersonic, Detlef
Schrempf, announced he was coming out of retirement. Mordor insiders maintain Kaman has been on thin ice with Sauron ever since he cut off his glorious rat-infested mane during the summer without permission from the Overlord.

Team Mordor looks particularly interesting this year, especially since Sauron has given Robert Plant the starting shooting guard spot as an homage for the terrible Lord of the Rings lyrics he’s included in Led Zeppelin songs.

3 Comments

  1. Zen Wizard

    March 5, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    His zits might just contain the alternative fuel source America needs right now.

  2. Gamer 18548

    March 5, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Chris Kaman reminds me of Ren H?ek (best known for his role as “Ren” in “Ren and Stimpy”). Yet, I bet he still gets mad tail because he’s in the NBA. It’s all about being tall.

  3. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    March 10, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    “Kaman, who is 100% orc and grew up playing pickup games on the rough and tumble blackened foothills of Mordor, claims he can play for Germany since his cousin is “living in Duessleforf, or some shit.”

    wonderful. I can stare at this pic for hours, really.

    We should organize a medical congress about Kaman, I mean, this case has to be studied seriously, there’s nothing to laugh at

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