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Kaman eyes spot on German team after Sauron cuts him from Mordor team
- Updated: March 5, 2008
MT. DOOM, MORDOR — LA Clippers center Chris Kaman has put in a request to play for the German national basketball team in the 2008 Olympics after getting cut from the Mordor team by GM and conjurer of evil, Sauron.
Kaman, who is 100% orc and grew up playing pickup games on the rough and tumble blackened foothills of Mordor, claims he can play for Germany since his cousin is "living in Duessleforf, or some shit."
Sources say Kaman became expendable to team Mordor after legendary orc and former Supersonic, Detlef
Schrempf, announced he was coming out of retirement. Mordor insiders maintain Kaman has been on thin ice with Sauron ever since he cut off his glorious rat-infested mane during the summer without permission from the Overlord.
Team Mordor looks particularly interesting this year, especially since Sauron has given Robert Plant the starting shooting guard spot as an homage for the terrible Lord of the Rings lyrics he’s included in Led Zeppelin songs.