Sports Hernia Blog

NCAA Bracket chat at your office


It’s less than twenty-four hours until the NCAA Tournament begins which means you’re likely putting the finishing touches on your fifth bracket, revising your fourth bracket, or pleasuring yourself to all of your brackets.  Regardless of what anyone is doing, the one thing most of us have in common is all that office chat we’ve been subjected to the past few days regarding everyone’s bracket and everyone’s expert ‘strategery’.

Much like the days leading up to the Super Bowl, this can be a somewhat painful experience.  So while you’re anxiously awaiting the first games to begin, here’s a look at what you’ve likely heard this week and what you’ll likely continue to hear as the tournament plays out over the next few weeks. 


"I think Beasley is this year’s Kevin Durant." — Jacob Tudor, IT

"This tournament will not be the same without Bob Knight." — Gus Gebhard, Foreman

"I have ‘One Shining Moment’ on my iPod." — Hadley Willard, P.R. coordinator

"You’d be crazy not to take at least two 10 seeds upsetting two 7 seeds." — Kevin Reilly, Marketing

"I’m not discussing any of my picks until the bracket submission deadline has passed."
— Ronald Miller, Strategy

"I’m positive Duke doesn’t have the horses this year, there’s just far too much parity.  Plus, that rape case." — Scott Jacobs, Analytics

"Who’s suddenly going to have a ton of ‘appointments’ on Thursday and Friday afternoon?" –Todd Brewfeller, Sales

"I don’t know when Roy Williams will finally win one, but I know it won’t be this year." — Bart Vandalay, Latex Sales & Manufacturing

"Are we talking about the men’s or women’s tourney?" — Glenda Dean, shipping

"Oral Roberts?  Hey, I’m not even gonna go there." — Ira Cleavage, Operations

"… So I said ‘Winthrop, wasn’t he in Trading Places?!’  (laughs) Oh man, Jefferson on 34 loved that one…" — Bill Standerson, Head of Sales

"How many John Thompsons are there anyway?" — Pam Durling, Switchboard

"I bet Duke will have all those Cameron Crazies following them.  They do those funny chants." — Becky Specht, Accounts Payable

"That Pitino sure has let Kentucky fall." — Dan Quayle, Systems Management

"George Mason and Gonzaga are my sleepers." — Gary Nunez, Accounting

"Did you know my sorority sister hooked up with Steve Blake at Maryland?  He is nice." — Tara Buckstein, Omega Mu ’01

"Florida will repeat." — Beano Cook, Guy Who Babbles and Stuff

"I’m pulling for John Calpari and Memphis.  His living room looked gorgeous on Sunday during the selections." — Debbie Dunkledge, Human Resources

"I don’t think I like that Gus Johnson announcer.  He gets too into it.  I just wish Dick Vitale could do every game." — Sally Dipshit, Accounts Receivable

"Tyler Hansbrough will be the tournament MVP." — Some whore at Brother Jimmy’s

"Wait, Jim Calhoun, he had a cameo on The Brotherhood, right?"
— Michael Caffey, Special Assignments

"I would give up two week’s pay to draw a penis on Billy Packer’s dome."
— The Sports Hernia staff


  1. Spicoli

    March 19, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    Hey I know that dude.

  2. jnr98

    March 20, 2008 at 9:57 am

    “Every year, some #12 upsets a #5. Did you know that?

    (PS: Love the Bro Jimmy’s reference. Esp the one on the Upper East Side.)

  3. Von Kaiser

    March 20, 2008 at 10:30 am

    Honestly just heard this:

    “Christian Laettner is still my favorite tourney player. I loved those Duke teams.”

  4. Fonda Lickenbox

    March 20, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    Dick Vitale’s quotes like, “He’s gonna be lookin for a head job next year!”

  5. Fonda Lickenbox

    March 20, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Dick Vitale’s quotes like, “He’s gonna be lookin for a head job next year!”

  6. Stonehands

    March 20, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    I can’t wait to see all those “Masters, A tradition like no other” commercials.

  7. cuzzy

    March 20, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    gold, pure gold.

    already tired of the CSI promos

  8. Soy

    March 20, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    “BOOM! I just wet myself thinking about Brett Farve playing college basketball. ‘Monkey’ is code for ‘vagina.'” – John Madden, douche nozzle

  9. Zen Wizard

    March 20, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    They could win the Nobel Peace Prize for stopping global warming, and a degree from Oral Roberts will still yield a lifetime of listening to bad job interview jokes as soon as that resume’ hits the desk.

  10. Von Kaiser

    March 20, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    “I voted for ‘One Shining Moment’ to be my prom song — it didn’t win.”

    – Paula PancakeTits, Customer Service

  11. Art Vandalay

    March 21, 2008 at 12:12 am

    Bart Vandalay??? Bart Vandalay??? I tell ya Jerry… I think this is some kind of conspiracy. And I’m gonna get to the bottom of it. This injustice will not stand. It will not stand, I tell ya.

  12. jnr98

    March 21, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    I was totally gonna pick Belmont

  13. Von Kaiser

    March 21, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Dude, I totally had San Diego and Western Kentucky.

  14. Marv

    March 22, 2008 at 8:34 am

    “No joke, I had Siena in one of my brackets,” everyone

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