Sports Hernia Blog

Shelley adds groin spear to already deep assault repertoire

Yankees back-up first baseman and full-time professional wrestler Shelley Duncan added a fierce weapon to his loaded meathead arsenal today after sliding into the Rays’ Akinori Iwamuri with his cleats sky high.  Funnily enough, Duncan talked about this earlier in the week.  We presume it was just his takeout move on the catcher he was unsure of, he knew all along how he’d take out an infielder.

From Monday’s NY Post:

Shelley Duncan admitted he didn’t know what he would do to a Rays catcher Wednesday if
there was a bang-bang play at the plate even if Girardi told him to lay
off the catchers in spring training.

Didn’t know what you’d do Shelley?  Come on Shell-bone, you know you practiced that groin spear ’til the wee hours of the morning with your hotel pillows leaned up against the wall.  And we know you had fake crowd music blasting on your iPod to get you all juiced up for it.

Nonetheless, the groin spear now joins Duncan’s illustrious list of takeout moves which already includes a thunderous forearm bash to the head*, a flying Macho Man elbow, a running cannonball complete with devastating fart on impact, a Ram-Man style headbutt and a giant Duncan bite out of the catcher’s mitt.

*Thunderous forearm bash to the head is also inflicted on own teammates.


  1. jnr98

    March 12, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    FWIW, just HOW big are Duncan’s feet? Did he get his cleats from Bob Lanier? His foot is the size of Iwamura’s thigh.


  2. Von Kaiser

    March 13, 2008 at 9:27 am

    Good call, his foot is the size of that guy’s thigh.

  3. tamtam

    October 30, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    to quote goldmember-“oof! right up the kiniekie!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *