Sports Hernia Blog

Stuff Athletes Like


Piggybacking on the popularity of the hilarious website "Stuff White People Like", The Sports Hernia has launched several of its own logical spinoffs, including and  Here’s a look at what various sectors of the sports world ‘like’:

Stuff Awkward White Centers Like
– Sucking
– Fouling
– Missing
– Bitching
– Jon Koncak
– Guaranteed contracts
– Short shorts
– Unruly hair
– Tennis shoes

Stuff Latino Soccer Players Like
– Shoving matches with opponents
– Shoving matches with referees
– Shoving matches with fans
– Shoving matches with themselves
– Slap fights
– Cocaine
– Diving

Stuff People at ESPN Like
– Red Sox
– Groping
– Duke
– Boo-yahs
– Ultimate Highlights
– Hot Seats
– Poetry Jams
– Interns
– LeBron
– Toupees

Stuff Foreign Basketball Players Like
– Shooting
– Flopping
– Body Hair
– Grimacing
– Letting opponents go by them
– Zone defense
– Moving without the ball

Stuff Hockey Players Like
– Trashing hotels
– Fewer than 32 teeth
– Anonymity
– Pain
– Pain killers
– Blood
– Finishing any name with a ‘y’ or ‘ie’

Stuff Golfers Like
– Khaki pants
– Khaki shorts
– Privacy
– Names like Braxton
– Hush puppies
– Pricey cigars
– Bad jokes
– Visors
– Man-boobs
– New, worthless shit

Stuff White Baseball Players Like
– Tobacco
Kruk’s hair
– Abusive/crazy wives
– Meatball subs
– Golf
– Cotton uniforms
– Jersey Shore necklaces
– Spitting
– Scooter
– Their balls

Stuff Latino Baseball Players Like
– Getting fat
– Purposely talking cryptically
– Catching kidnappers
– Salsa music
– Ruben Sierra

Stuff Football Players Like
– Jail
– Steroids
– Strippers
– Under Armour
– Tom Brady’s life
– FatHeads
– Motorcycles

Stuff Mutombo Likes
– Socks
– Cookies
– Cookie Monster
– Sexing
– Finger waving
State of the Union Addresses
– Laughing loud enough to make the Earth shake


  1. jnr98

    March 27, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Stuff most NBA players like:
    * Complaining
    * Overreacting
    * Groupies
    * Huge, over the ear headphones
    * Soulja Boy
    * Tattoos
    * More groupies
    * Throwing their coach under the busy
    * Laughing at dorky white centers trying to run the floor gracefully
    * High-fiving rich, fat, white guys sitting on the sidelines
    * Chest beating/shirt popping
    * Intricate hair designs
    * Tear-away sweat, half torn away

  2. jj

    March 27, 2008 at 1:46 pm


  3. Von Kaiser

    March 27, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Stuff Latino Soccer Players Like

    – Shoving matches with Chalupas

  4. Marv

    March 27, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    More Stuff most NBA players like:
    – More tattoos
    – Gambling
    – Pinstriped suits
    – Brightly colored button-downs
    – Getting tattoos in the offseason
    – Making home movies of All Star Weekend

  5. Sports Tsar

    March 27, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    this really could be its own spinoff blog


  6. Zen Wizard

    March 27, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    Stuff golfers don’t like:

    * Questions
    * Caddies who disagree with them
    * Tax audits
    * Facial hair
    * People conversing in a normal voice
    * Philistines who sell their own merchandising out of a Winnibego like they are NASCAR drivers:
    * Hats with no logo on them
    * Activities that actually benefit humanity
    * Walking
    * Getting a real job
    * Being a man for a change
    * People who mispronounce “Titleist.”
    * Sweating
    * Sports blogs
    * Lists of stuff that golfers don’t like
    * Being compared to Ray Romano
    * Playing golf with Ray Romano
    * The alleged witty observations of Ray Romano
    * Pasta with romano sauce because it reminds them of Ray Romano

  7. Zen Wizard

    March 27, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    More stuff golfers don’t like (my boss walked in the last time):

    * The audible cacaphony of the click of several camaeras.
    * Marked-down name-brand clubs being sold at Walmart.
    * Sports announcers who say, “He has an afterlife on the Seniors tour, you can just tell.”
    * Sports announcers who say, “Well, there’s always a gig as a club pro…”
    * Sports announcers who say, “He’s been playing the, ‘It’s just another tournament’-game all day, and I don’t know how long he can keep it up…”
    * Missing a ten-foot putt when your knocked-up wife is ready to drop.
    * Sports announcers who say, “Uh oh–right in the drink!”
    * Sports announcers who say, “As usual, he’s gonna have to come out of the rough…”
    * People who question a professional golfer’s choice of club.
    * Wearing two gloves. Even if they are shoveling their car out in Buffalo.
    * The expression, “This course has always been good to an Aussie,” if they are not in fact Australian.
    * People who whistle when they clap.
    * People who actually clap when they clap.
    * Innocuous American slang that becomes offensive when you say it in Scotland.

  8. The Sports Hernia

    March 27, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    Well played Zen Wizard, those are great adds. We forget one important one before.

    Stuff Golfers Like:
    – Steel wired bras (we’re lookin’ at you Phil, Daly, actually we’re lookin’ at most of you)

  9. Zen Wizard

    March 27, 2008 at 10:03 pm

    True–has the man-sierre been erected that can hold those funbags? I guess what with the titanium alloys that are being developed nowadays, it’s possible.

    Stuff golfers don’t like:

    * Male breast reduction.
    * The decolletage created by a side-silhouette shot of the afternoon sun gently grazing their chest.
    * Pandora Peaks asking them, “What’s your secret?”
    * Driving range cashiers who think an extra bucket of golf balls entitles them to “Get to second base,” on the first date.
    * Always having to say, “Hey! Eyes up here, buddy!”
    * The opening credits of, “Baywatch.”
    * How the left one seems to hang a little lower and has a bigger aureole.

  10. jnr98

    March 28, 2008 at 11:51 am

    i just puked in my mouth a little after reading the last one in the entry of March 27, 2008 at 10:03 PM.

  11. gerrard sir hornypants

    March 28, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    Zen Wizard ON FIRE!!!!

  12. Zen Wizard

    March 28, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    !Me en fuego!

  13. rip

    April 1, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    What is kind of funny is that Yankee fans seem to think that ESPN is filled with Red Sox fans and Red Sox fans think ESPN is filled with Yankee fans. Very interesting…

  14. Posterboy

    April 2, 2008 at 11:23 am

    Stuff Rae Carruth Likes

    – Murder

    – Saving his own pee

    – Hiding in the trunks of cars

    Stuff Cincinnatti Bengals Like

    – Providing underage girls with alcohol

    – Guns

    – Substance abuse

    – Puking on police

    Stuff John Amaechi Likes

    – Guys

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