Sports Hernia Blog

The search for Robinson Cano heats up


After a slow start to the 2008 baseball season the people of New York have taken to the streets, handing out fliers in search of their beloved Yankee second baseman, Robinson Can?. 

The flier you see above managed to find it’s way to the Hernia mole in Manhattan this morning while he was admirably trying to avoid four different middle-aged men attempting to hand him business cards disguised as strip club promotions.

Melky Cabrera, affectionately known as "Leche" by his good buddy Robbie, was understandably shaken up after discovering the flier on his windshield following last night’s loss.

Considering it’s nearly May 1st, the growing number of players still missing has become alarming:

Ryan Howard, Phillies, .174 avg ? not just missing but completely lost
David Ortiz, Red Sox, .177 avg ? missing but likely lurking close by
Carlos Delgado, Mets, .205 avg ? might be gone forever but fanbase seems totally content with this
Robinson Can?, Yankees, .153 avg ? hasn’t been seen since spring training
Andruw Jones, Dodgers, .159 avg ? authorities think they found the body

Note:  Jason Giambi (.176 avg.) is not listed because he has been missing for two seasons, and no one gives a shit anymore.


  1. Stonehands

    April 30, 2008 at 11:08 am

    He looks so happy there, I hope he’s ok wherever he is.

  2. Von Kaiser

    April 30, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Yeah, I read that they found him nestled in between Ewing’s dong and ball bag.


  3. dav p.

    April 30, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    he’s a bum.

  4. How do you spell retard?

    May 1, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Howard is wondering the streets and considered dangerous, as he is swinging at everything that moves and some things that don’t move.

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