- Tom Brady Accidentally Wolfs Up During Court Room Sketch
- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly argues over an eggplant, a peach and a smiley face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
Mark Schlereth commits goatee fraud
- Updated: May 15, 2008
What is it exactly that we see there on Mark Schlereth’s chin, we know it’s been there for awhile, but is it really a goatee? Did we miss something? Is growing a goatee really the next logical step for men who thoroughly enjoy eyebrow waxing, hair dyeing, tanning bed napping and soap opera make-up in their lives?
Look at that thing, it’s ninety different colors, it’s like he sat back in the dressing room and said, "Ah yes, my favorite time of the afternoon, today give me… sandy beach," and then closed his eyes while the magic happened and dreamt of himself spiking a volleyball on Mike Golic’s poorly manicured head during Pro Bowl week.
Schlereth should probably just get it over with and shave the embarassment off his face. The proper goatee ambassadors are guys like Kevin Youkilis and David Wells, and that’s because those guys eat cheeseburgers while they’re taking a shit, likely one in each hand, and then proudly text their buddies a picture of said shit.